February 27, 2006

Air Mata Ibu

Air mata Ibu, membasahi pipi penuh kedutan usia
Dari mata yang sayu menahan sebak di dada
Tanpa berhenti ibu bercerita
Punca apakah ibu merasa duka dan hiba

Aku tahu aku bukan puncanya
Lara dihati bukan kerana aku durjana
Bukan juga kerna terkilan layanan tak sempurna
Atau makan dan pakai serba tak kena

Kalau dulu, airmatamu selalu terjurai
Mengenang kasih ayah yang berbelah bagi
Kasih yang engkau beri sepenuh hati
Tapi hanya setengah kau terima kembali

Namun bila ayah sudah tiada
Kau panjatkan doa tanpa alpa
Agar doamu menjadi penyeri bagi yang tiada
Di alam barzah terbujur kaku mengharap pada semua didunia

Airmata ibu berlinang lagi
Mengenang kehidupan yang tak pernah sepi
Dari dugaan dan cubaan Illahi
Walau bukan dari kehendak sendiri

Ibu menangis mengenang luka
Anak menantu punya angkara
Walau berkeluarga sudah lah lama
Masih tidak merasa bahagia

Wahai ibu, ku tahu hati mu mulia
Mahu melihat kami semua gembira
Tapi kalau takdirNya sudah tertera
Bagaimana mampu kita melawan kehendakNya

Mungkin itu yang terbaik buat mereka
Bukan lah salah ibu membela
Bukan juga kita dari golongan yang hina
Bagai mengemis kasih yang sudah tiada

Wahai ibu, luluh hatiku melihat airmatamu
Ku tahu kau inginkan kami berbahagia selalu
Tiada dayamu menahan segala yang sudah tentu
Hanya menunggu belah dari yang retak seribu

Wahai Ibu, walau ku tahu hiba dan sebak dalam dada
Namum ku harap engkau mengerti segala
Sedaya upaya akan ku cuba
Untuk kau tidak merasa hiba

Kadang kala aku terkasar
Kerana aku juga punya perasaan yang membakar
Ingin ku marahi mereka yang celupar
Yang membuat hati mu menjadi gusar

Ibu, aku tahu engkau kini menghitung hari
Menghabis usia sehingga di panggil pergi
Aku tak pasti hingga bila hadirmu di sisi
Ketiadaanmu pasti aku rindui

Wahai ibu ampunkan aku
Jika tiada daya upayaku
Menyekat airmatamu
Mengalir jatuh membasahi pipimu.

Aku doakan kesejahteraanmu
Biar di dunia engkau tenang menharungi sisa usiamu
Beribadah untuk menjadi bekalmu
Bila nanti kau pergi menemui Tuhan mu

February 24, 2006

Lupa Seminggu

Dulu-dulu, mak selalu beritahu aku yang guru ugama dia pernah berpesan jangan minum air yang ada semut. Kalau terminum sekali dengan semut, kita akan menjadi pelupa selama seminggu. Aku tak tahu kesahihan petua itu, dan tak pulak aku rasa ada scientific explaination tentang teori itu. Jadi aku cuma dengar dan, memanglah kita tak akan minum air yang bersemut dengan sengaja.

Entahlah, agak nya sejak umur dah meningkat ni makin banyak sel-sel otak yang dah tak berfungsi. Makin banyak benda yang aku lupa. Aku selalunya rasa aku ni memori aku kuat, ingatan aku detail, sampai kalau nak cerita balik sure kena tapis supaya tak detail dan remeh temeh sangat. Entah2 bukan pasal aku pelupa sebab dah tua, tapi sebab banyak kena fikir sekarang ni. Banyak masalah agaknya ni. Masalah kerja, masalah rumah tangga, masalah anak-anak yang makin membesar dan lain-lain. Tapi aku masih bersyukur sebab, masih ada orang lain yang lebih berat masalah mereka di dunia ni. Masalah aku InsyaAllah akan dapat aku selesaikan dengan tenang.

Hari Isnin, on the way nak balik dari kerja, aku pergi car wash, nak basuh kereta dan vakum sekali. Malas nak basuh sendiri, lagipun basuh dan vakum tu RM8, sekali sekala aku akan gunakan servis tu jugak. Hari-hari hubby hantar anak-anak ke sekolah, berpasir kereta aku habis dari kasut diorang tu. Masa workers dok vakum kereta aku kelaurkan wallet dari handbag, aku terperasan handfon tak ada kat dalam handbag. Aku tengok kat dalam kereta kut-kut aku tinggalkan kat dalam kereta. Tapi tak ada jugak. Jadi, aku terfikir entah-entah aku tertinggal kat office. Adoiiii. Jadi lepas kereta dah siap di cuci aku balik ke office semula. Nasib baik dekat saja office dengan tempat cuci kereta tu.

Dah sampai ke ofis semula, masuk dalam pejabat cari handfon, tak nampak pulak, Kat meja tak ada, kat side pedestal tak ada, mana pulak aku letak handfon tu aku tak ingat. Kemudian aku call the handfon no, dari direct line ofis aku, tak dengar bunyi pun. Jadi sah lah tak ada dalam ofis aku tu. Aku syak aku tertinggal kat surau. Sebab sebelum aku balik, sebelum ke car wash, aku ke surau solat asar. Memanglah handfon aku ada kat surau. Alhamdulillah tak ada sapa ambik, mungkin kerana aku yang last sekali masuk surau petang tu.

Hari selasa, aku nak travel outstation, jadi aku stop isikan minyak kat petrol station. Since nak isi penuh dan senang nak claim aku pakai credit card pay at the pump saja. Bila dah habis pump minyak aku dok tunggu resit keluar tak keluar-keluar pun. Jadi aku masuk ke dalam mintak resit. Lepas tu, terus masuk ke dalam kereta suruh PS jalan. Nasib baik ada sorang mamat yang nak isi minyak kat pump sebelah notice aku punya tangki minyak tak ditutup. Dia tolong tutupkan untuk aku. Laaa, apa lah aku ni. Aku terlupa lah tu masa aku letak balik pump minyak tu, langsung tak ingat nak tutup fuel tank tu. Alhamdulillah dia tu ternampak dan tolong tutupkan.

Check in kat hotel dengan PS, kami sajalah tanya sama ada diorang serve welcoming drink, dari reception. Kata the guy at the reception tu, ada, tapi dia sibuk. Kami suruh hantar ke bilik saja lah, terus kami naik dan masuk dalam bilik. Masa kat bilik dok relaks-relaks, door bell bunyi, PS bukak pintu, diorang hantar drinks. The guy cakap kami tak keluarkan kunci dari slot kunci di pintu. Aku yang cucuk kat pintu tadi tu. Lupa lagi. Nasiblah dah jadi habit aku, bila masuk saja aku terus letakkan key lock kat pintu. Nasib lah dia apa-apa kejadian yang tidak diingini di takdirkan kepada kami. Isyyy lupa lagi, teringat someone pesan stay safe in the city.

Rabu pagi, aku dan PS berjalan kaki dari hotel te tempat kerja. Memang kami macam tu, suka berjalan kaki dari drive. Tak berapa jauh, dan lebih senang berjalan kaki. Kami ambik barang yang nak bawak ke ofis dari kereta terus je jalan. Half way, aku dok tercari-cari barang. PS tanya cari apa? Aku cakap name tag aku. Kat name tag ada kunci elektronik nak masuk ofis, jadi kalau tak ada tu nak pergi toilet pun susah nanti. Tak kan nak pinjam kat orang pulak tu. Tak kan nak tahan satu hari tak nak kencing ke b*rak ke kan. Kan susah tu. PS kata tadi nampak kat side pocket dalam kereta. So aku letak laptop kat atas jalan tu, suruh PS tunggu sekejap kat situ, sebab aku nak pergi ambik tag tu. Nasib baik belum sampai ofis. Tak kuasa aku nak balik ke hotel ambik name tag tu.

Khamis dah sampai balik rumah awal, aku start masak lepas solat Asar. Mula tu aku cadang nak call hubby nak cakap tak payah beli food sebab aku dah balik dan dok masak dah. Terlupa nak call sampai dah dekat maghrib. Bila call dia, hubby kata dia dah beli char koay teau. Lauk aku dan nasi jadinya hanya di makan oleh mak yang baru balik dari rumah abang lang. Tapi tak apa sebab hari ni anak-anak balik sekolah awal boleh makan. Kesian dah 2, 3 hari kena makan fast food sebab aku tak ada kat rumah.

Pagi Jumaat ni, hubby dah dok "berleter" tengok jam aku kat atas meja. Kata dia aku ni asyik sepahkan jam dengan spek merata-rata. Aku ni jawab balik (baik-baik je tu jawab tu hehehe) yang dia pun sama je, kekadang cari spek atau kunci kereta tak jumpa jugak. Diam je dia tu. Lagipun aku ada beritahu dia spek aku kat mana. Tak sangka pulak aku nak tertinggal jugak barang lagi. Sampai kat ofis, habit aku ialah lepas switch on PC, aku akan keluarkan handfon dari handbag dan simpan handbag dalam almari kat belakang seat aku. Tengok- tengok handfon pulak dah tertinggal kat rumah. Handfon aku tadi tu ada atas katil, sebab aku selalu pasang alarm untuk kejutkan aku dari tidor setiap pagi menggunakan alarm dari handfon.

Aku ingat dulu-dulu kalau aku stress sangat dengan kerja aku akan senang lupa. Beberapa kali dulu tu aku asyik tertinggal kunci kereta dalam kereta aku. Masa dulu tu mana ada remote key, jadi bila dah keluar tu tekan je key to lock the car. Bila dok cari car key tak jumpa baru nampak dok dangling kat ignition tu. Sampai kena belajar macam mana nak buka pintu kereta guna steel ruler atau dawai hehehe.

Apa-apa pun lepas ni agaknya aku akan lebih berhati-hati InsyaAllah.

February 20, 2006

Menjawab Komen Demonsinme

Aku nak jawab komen demonsinme kat sini. Dia telah memberi aku alasan yang kukuh untuk berblog dalam loghat utara. Last yang aku berceloteh dalam loghat utara tu hampir se tahun dulu. Komen dia buat aku teruja untuk sekali lagi menulis dalam loghat utara. Jadi siapa-siapa yang tak faham, tolong cari translator no. Ramai jugak blogger dari utara dan berasal dari utara, sure depa faham.

Komen demonsinme (deme).

Acik (MUDA) An,

Dah suma pakat pakat dok guna bahsa utagha cek pon joen skali laaa...

Betui tu betui la kami ogahang jantan ni dok ada lagu nun.Tak dinapikan lagi.

Tapi la kan acik (MUDA) an, tak ghasa ka ni cam kes "kuali kata buntot (mintak mahap kalau bunyik kasaq) peghiuk itam"? Sama ja laki ngan oghang pompuan. Betui la oghang laki banyak macam yang acik (MUDA) an sebot. Tapi dalam dok kata kata macam nih, sama gak la oghang jantan sebut pasai oghang pomouan cam tu la jugak.

Yang pentingnya, kita dah tau hat yang kughang kat partnar kita, baik la kita saling tegoq meneogoq dari kita dok berletiaq kat satu sama lain. Takut la pulak nanti hat yang memudha tu tidoq soghang pandang utagha soghang pandang selatan.

Kan ka tak best?

p/s - tapi jangan la pulak kata demonsinme ni maghah. takdak niat ghasa cam tu besaq hama skali pon aih.

Jawapanku.

Deme,

Mola-mola sekali, oghang Penang panggil makcik tu "mami" Uncle tu "mamu" Jadi bukan Acik tapi Mami AN no.

Muda ka dak tu tak tau lah, sebab umoq dah dekat setengah abad, muda lagi lah kut no? :-). Tak payah cek dok nak jek mami lah, mami tau dah pasai apa yang cek nak jek sangat tu :-) Cek kata cek bujang terlajak 88 batu setengah, tapi telajak pi tang mana, utagha? selatan, timoq ka baghat ka? Anak dagha mami dok belajaq lagi, ghendang ikan pun tak gheti lagi, jadi tak payah dok usyar lagi no :-). Nak kena bagi kursus dulu bagi dia pandai, baghu nak lepaih. Sat ni depa kata mami tak pandai bela anak pulak.

Betui la cek kata, oghang laki pun sama dengan oghang pompuan. Bukan lah mami kata kami pompuan ni perfect, bukan nak kata kami tak buat salah. Dak aih, sama sajalah oghang jantan ka, oghang pompuan no. Tapi kan, cek oi, kadang-kadang mami ni dok ghadang jugak la, bila mamu dok suka tangguh gheja. Kalau dia bagi panggei oghang buat tak pa jugak ni, ayaq dok meleleh, tu sayang, membaziaq pulak tu. Sat ni bil mai, dia jugak kena bayaq. Sayang kat mamu ni.

Bukan mami tak sayang mamu. Dak pun yang lain-lain tu tak sayang laki depa. Isyy, sayang sangat. Berkenan dari hujung ghambut sampai hujung kaki tu. Tegoq menegoq tu memang dah jadi adat dah. Mami pun dah tak beletiaq dah la ni. Ikut suka lah bila nak buat sabaq banyak-banyak dah ni hehe.

Pasai tidoq, soghang selatan soghang utagha tu dak lah. Kalu berkelai tu kami tidoq asing-asing saja, :-), :-). Macam kata P Ramlee, sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit, inikan pulak suami isteghi kan. Kalu tak bekalai tu kami siap pegang-pegang tangan lagi tu. Mami dengan mamu ni loving tau dak. Inseperable, you know hehehehe.

Bukan nak mengata kat sapa-sapa, cuma nak bagi tau kat semua-semua yang kadang-kadang kami ghasa tak seghonok bila gheja kami tak boleh habih pasai benda-benda yang tak siap. Tu saja. Haghap-haghap deme dan semua oghang laki-laki paham no.

Jangan maghah no, kalau maghah sat ni kena juai. :-), :-) Image hosting by Photobucket

February 17, 2006

Jangan Tunggu Lama-lama....

How I wish, on any day like this that Mike the plumber in Desperate Housewifes would be living next door to me. But then again if he does, I think MakAndeh will start thinking of moving to my kampung as well (Jangan marah MA, gurau je ekk).

If he really does live next door I would just pop my head over the fence and call out his name to tell thim to come and do some plumbing work at home, while I drool at his muscle or hunk of a body or what ever else there is to drool at. Hehehe.

And then I would not have to tell my husband these anymore, over and over again until they are fixed .

Abang, sinki dapur bocor lah.

or

Tap kat bathroom tu dah berminggu dah leaking bila nak fix

or

Tu cermin yang abang beli untuk bilik air tu bila nak gantung tu?

In the days of DIY, my husband would rather do a lot of fixing by himself. Not that he cannot do it. But the problem is he has the habit of procastinating things. He loves gardening so much he will put off anything else for gardening.

When we just renovated this house I asked him why not ask the contractor to fix the curtain railing. He said No, he will do it himself. Yes, he took the measurement, went to buy the materials and it was almost a year before I could fix up the curtain. Even now I still have some curtain I can't hang because some windows still without the railings.

At one time he got excited about putting up photos and pictures. He had this idea of putting up photos of his parents and mine, our families etc. He had bought some photo frames, lots of them, but up till now, the frames are still in the box, my wall is still empty. He did put up some pictures, those were the pictures we had before. That was done because it was raya time and just before the kenduri we had last year.

What is more disheartening is when I remind him to fix this and that, he thinks that I am nagging him. Even when the reminder is in a nicest possible way. Isn't it true ladies? Blessed is the wife whose husband is so attentive in fixing things fast. No need for nagging or being nagged.

Please don't take it wrong, although I am writing this, it does NOT mean that I don't love my husband. I love him dearly. Can't imagine my life without him around. But then again, he is not perfect and neither am I. I just wish that he is better in executing certain things which I would like him to do in a faster mode than his usual speed. There may be other wives out there having the same problem as I am having now, but would rather keep it in their heart.

So husbands, please take this not as a complaint but rather as something to improve yourselves. if we can do things ourselves we wil do it. Please also do not think and say that we are nagging you if we keep on reminding you about certain things like paip bocor or sinki tersumbat. If you can take a break to play badminton with your friend, you can take the time to fix the problem too otherwise, call some cute plumber to get the job done OK :-)

To all the wives, do not nag your husbands too much. If you need to remind do it in a nice loving way, like over a cup of coffee or just before you get to bed etc. Maybe he will remember it better to spend the time to fix the problem.

Meanwhile.

AAAAGGGGGGHHHHH,

Abaaaannnnngggg,

Tap kat kitchen sink tu dah bocoq seminggu dah ni.....Dah belambak air keluar ni....

Bila nak fix........................

(Buang karan je menjerit kat sini dia bukan baca pun hu hu hu)

February 15, 2006

Cyber Charity

I am involved. Deeply involved. Not with one but two younger men. Mesti ada yang dok ingat ni amboi makcik ni perasan tahap dewa ni. Dah tua-tua pun dok involve dengan orang muda lagi kan, kan... What is wrong with that? Yes, they are younger, way too young for me. But with the current "technology" in cosmetics and ubat-ubatan tradisional, older women can be and feel younger. Kacip Fatimah ada, Mas cotek ada, botox ada, spa dan saloon pun banyak kan, :-)
Apa pulak aku ni melalut ni!!!!.

Back to my involvement with these younger men. The first one I have met in person about 2 years ago. A talented person, always winning awards for his creativity. He works amongst the stars. So, getting to know him is like a gateway to rubbing shoulders with the stars. That make me "perasan" that maybe one day, I would bump into him again with some stars in his company. Isyy makcik ni tak habis nak glemer!!!

The second one I have not met personally. Spoke to him a few times on the phone. Kacau him once in a while (I can hear him say, "ye lah tu!!") on the YM and be his regular sembang kaki at his tag.

Why am I involved with them? Why are they so attractive? Well, everyone has their charm. Something that make each one of us stand out in a crowd. Something that others see as being attractive about each one of us. But, these two gentlemen (kena tengok balik buku kat blog MA tu for definition ni :-), they have something in common. They have big hearts. Big charitable hearts.

The first one started a pledge your donation campaign 6-7 months ago. I pledge some money too. The campaign ended January 2006. I have called and spoke to him, about the wish list etc. I know he is very very busy. Until today, I still do not know what to do with the money. I have planned to make some bedsheets for the Rumah Amal Hashimiah which the money supposed to be used for. I am waiting for him to tell me how many sheets are required. I cannot wait anymore lah, I still have the money with me, not only mine but from the tabung ayam as well.
So Badrul, I am not waiting for you to tell me how many, I will buy the materials and make them this weekends. If there are extras, will give you to add to buy other stuffs.

The second one, so far has sent me money 3 times through western Union. Percaya pulak dia kat aku ni kan entah, entah aku ada ulterior motives, ahak... ahak.. The first recipient is a blogger who was operated due to a growth found in her womb. The second recipents are 3 young children whose father has added another set of mouth eventhough he is materially incapable of providing for more. The money was used to buy school uniforms and pay for the fees. The third time he sent me money is for the first one's donation scheme. The money is still in my handbag unused. Sorry Joe, it's not my fault. It will be used in due time. Right now, we are working on ways to get some money to help the Indon ladies in London who just had kidney operations through Kak Teh (Another charitable blogger, MasyaAllah)

My 2 special men friends have in their own way had invoked something in me. I have NOT been very charitable, being involved with them, make me feel slightly shameful. So even when I have committed a meager of my income to the good cause, through them I can do a little bit more. Not just money but also the energy and the time taken for that purpose. Kalau tak ada duit nak sumbang at least aku boleh bantu dengan "urat ghiang" (cakap orang utara, maksudnya tenaga) aku. Nak ambik duit dari Western Union nak kena tahu bank mana, nak kena tahu apa maklumat yang perlu. Manalah tahu kut-kut nanti anak-anak aku ada yang nak belajar kat overseas kan dah senang. I did some "findings" as well. Dok cari jalan yang lebih murah untuk transaksi hantar duit ni. Even though there is a Moneygram agent in Malaysia, but unfortunately, the agent only know how to send the money overseas. They have never received any from overseas. Haah lah, I have to agree "kampung" sangat service tu rasanya. Any suggestions from anyone from the banking industry?

What is beautiful about my involvement is that, this is happening in the cyber world. A cyber charity of some sort. Another positive effect of blogging. And, I like being involved like this. Thank you my dears for giving me the opportunities.

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Sekuntum mawar merah untuk mu

February 13, 2006

Cinta Anak-Anak Remaja

Terbaca entry MakAndeh, teruja pulak aku nak cerita perihal cinta cintun anak-anak aku ni. Sorry MakAndeh, cilok idea you ni. Maybe it's better so that we can share ideas.

Semua orang tahu, aku ada anak-anak dara yang sedang meningkat remaja. Tahun ni Kak Long 19 tahun, Angah 17, Ayin 14 (sama abang anak MA), Syia pulak 12 tahun (sama kakak anak MA). Masa ini lah kan emosi remaja akan mula berputik. Diorang ni dah mula dok mencuba kosmetik sikit-sikit. Kalau ke supermarket sure nak kena beli cleanser, toner, losyen muka, scrub dan mask aku pun kekadang tu jadi mangsa diorang jugak. Bayangkan 4 anak dara yang aku nak kena maintain tu. Dah conscious dengan penampilan diri diorang. Jerawat naik kat muka dah mula dok risau, baju-baju pun nak ikut fesyen dan berjenama. Sabar je lah jadi ibu anak-anak remaja ni. Kalau nak keluar, kena bagi notis setengah hari paling minima untuk diorang ni bersiap. Bukan siap apa, baju nak gosok, jeans nak kena gosok, tudung nak kena cari yang matching, kena gosok, lepas tu nak pakai tudung tu nak tarik sana, nak pin sini. Tu tak campur dengan nak bedak muka lagi. Walau macam mana pun anak2 aku ni masih lah simple tak over sangat dalam gaya bergaya ni. Sebab hubby memang particular pasal penampilan diri. T-shirt pun kena iron, jangan dok kedut sana, sini kang naya kena kata, tak payah ikut. Sometimes, siap kena tanya baba, baju ni OK ke? Kalau tak sure kena tukar.

Oleh kerana kami duduk kampung, so far yang aku tengok tak de pulak lah hero-hero kampung yang dok mengurat anak-anak aku. Jangan kena mengorat oleh samseng kampung sudahlah. Aku tak rela tu. Syia tu belum baligh lagi, jadi masih kut tak ada feeling macam tu. Ayin pun kadang-kadang ada jugak berjalan berkumpulan dengan kawan2 masa cuti, pergi rumah cikgu atau kawan-kawan. Dalam kumpulan tu ada jugak budak-budak lelaki tapi tak lah nampak ada yang nak lebih dari kawan. Masih belum mature agaknya hero-hero kampung ni agaknya. Terbantut sikit kut diorang ni tentang emosi macam tu. Tak pe lah it's better that way. Tak risau aku.

Antara yang lebih sikit sosiable antara anak-anak aku ni Angah lah. Kan dia tu main hoki, jadi dia ada peluang lebih sedikit dari adik-beradik dia untuk terexpose dengan pergaulan antara lelaki perempuan ni. Dia jugaklah yang banyak contribute kepada bill telefon kami yang tinggi pada setiap bulan. Sekarang dah kurang sikit dah sebab ada handfon sendiri dan kena top-up sendiri. Dia jugalah yang selalu menerima panggilan dari budak-budak lelaki pada masa-masa yang tak berapa sesuai terutama lewat malam. Pernah sekali baba terserempak dengan Angah dalam bilik tengah malam dok bertelefon. Bila di tanya siapa pemanggil dia jawab kawan. Lelaki ke perempuan? Lelaki. Habis kena lecture dengan baba dan di biokot oleh baba selama seminggu tu. Lepas tu aku secara perlahan cakap dengan dia dan warning dia sikit. Dia tahu baba tak suka sebab masih nak sekolah, tahun ni SPM, nak kena concentrate untuk study dulu. Selalu jugak aku yang terima panggilan dari budak lelaki untuk dia, Nasib lah sesiapa yang bercakap dengan angah tu sure kena CSI dengan aku sampai letak telefon. Tambah-tambah yang bila di tanya siapa ni? Jawabnya kawan, kawan ni tak de nama ke? Ada. Sapa nama? Dia balik tanya kita siapa. Nak kena sekeh budak tu agaknya. Sebabnya kadang-kadang diorang ingat aku ni kakak Angah, tak percaya diorang bila aku kata aku ni mak dia, hehehe. Selagi tak beritahu aku, nama dan nak cakap apa dengan Angah, sure tak lepas nya telefon tu dari aku. Jadi baik letak saja lah. Karang kalau nasib baik telefeon lagi Ayin atau Syia yang angkat.

Kak Long ni tahun ni 19 tahun. Tapi bila di tanya ada boyfriend ke atau ada orang nak mengorat ke, dia main cakap, mana ada. So far, aku jugak yakin dia tak ada sapa-sapa yang berkenan di hati. Entahlah kut-kut ada yang dok ushar tu. Sebab dia rupa paras ada jugaklah kata orang tu kan. Hidung penyet macam orang Melayu, kulit cerah jugak tu. Senyum pun sweet jugak tu. Dia selalu beritahu kalau nak kemana-mana dengan kawan-kawan. Belum pernah aku dengar dia mintak permission untuk dating sorang-sorang. Kut dia tak beritahu aku entahlah. Tapi buat masa sekarang aku masih boleh percayakan dia. Cool saja aku tengok dia pasal relatioship dengan boys ni. Nak kata dia tak berkawan dengan boys tak pulak. Dalam YM list dia tu ramai jugak lelaki. Classmates dia, "abang-abang" lah macam-macam. Tapi mungkin belum ada yang terlekat di hati kut.

Aku rasa semua ibu bapa akan sampai ke satu tahap yang merasa bimbang dengan pergaulan anak-anak remaja. Tambahan pulak anak-anak aku tak punya abang atau adik lelaki. Mereka cuma ada baba, dan cousin-cousin lelaki dalam kehidupan diorang. Cuma anak-anak sedara hubby yang memang close dengan diorang tu saja yang mungkin dapat menjadi sebagai abang bagi diorang tu. They look up to these cousins like their own brothers. Buat masa ni aku tunggu dan lihat sajalah perkembangan anak-anak aku tu. Aku tak lah berapa sedih ke takut ke sangat anak aku terutamanya Kak Long tu tak berboyfriend buat masa ni. Belum sampai tahap nak "lelong" lagi macam Anedra buat tu kan hehehe. Takut pulak tersalah "lelong" dapat laki orang, kan ke haru tu hehehe.

Tapi aku rasa, mungkin tak lama lagi aku juga akan berdepan dengan persoalan cinta yang akan timbul dalam diri anak-anak dara aku tu. Cuma aku harap diorang akan berterus terang dengan aku bila tiba masanya. Supaya aku dapat menolong mereka dalam menangani masalah (kalau adalah) dengan lebih tenang dan rasional. InsyaAllah.

February 09, 2006

Love is In the Air?



No, no, no this is not a sequel to "Bila Larut Malam" entry. Hubby is not at home and I am not "available" :-).

Just that when I received this image, the first thing that come to mind is the title. Like a literal translation isn't it.

The image is just to potray the love I feel for all of you. Thanks for the comments in the entry below. I know for the last few weeks I am not at all at top form in writing. Looking back, my entries seemed to be in a very sombre mood. Tried to think of more cheerfull entries, but non seems to come.

So for today and the weekend I am leaving you with the image of LOVE is in the air. Over the blogsphere.

February 07, 2006

Adakah Aku Berhak Untuk Mengeluh?

Bila aku fikirkan kehidupan aku, sekali sekala timbul perasaan untuk mengeluh. Mungkin kerana aku PMS agaknya, atau aku terlalu letih, atau kerana terlalu bosan. Tapi.......berhak kah aku ni untuk mengeluh? Payah sangatkah hidup aku sampai aku nak mengeluh tu? Bila aku tinjau sana sini, aku nak listkan apa yang aku ada supaya aku sendiri dapat muhasabah diri aku.

1. Aku ni ada suami. Macam mana payah pun, dia ada nak support aku. Selama 20 tahun ni kami memang saling membantu.

2. Suami aku orang nya baik, dia bukan pernah inaya aku pun. Sekali sekala cubit-cubit sikit2 tu ada lah. Tapi hidup suami isteri ni bak kata P Ramlee "sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit". Tak bertokak langsung tu tak ummmppp lah kan? Payah jugak tu.

3. Mak aku tu unsur Jannah, dia duduk dengan aku. Kan ke Syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu. Itu dah direct saham Jannah untuk aku tu. Alhamdulillah. Itupun kalau aku bela dia dengan betul lah kan. InsyaAllah.

4. Aku ni duduk kat Malaysia, nak payah apa lah sangat. Semua mewah kat sini. Makan senang, hidup pun selamat. Hujan dengan panas saja. Takk payah nak sejuk-sejuk dengan salji tebal atau angin puting beliung, atau kemarau berpanjangan.

5. Aku tinggal kat kampung lagi, jauh dari hiruk pikuk kotaraya. Masih murah segala serba serbi. Kalau susah nak cari makan pun masih boleh bela ayam, tanam sayur belakang rumah. Kadang-kadang tu ulam-ulam pun tak payah tanam tumbuh sendiri saja tu.

6. Kemudahah kat kawasan kampung pun bukannya lekeh sangat pun. Streamyx pun ada, mesjid dekat, klinik dekat, sekolah pun dekat.

7. Anak-anak aku pun semuanya sihat dan normal. Senang saja nak bela. Tak banyak kerenah pun.

8. Aku pun buat masa sekarang sihat je ni, biasalah sakit pening sikit-sikit, Yang kronik-kronik tu tak ada tanda pun. InsyaAllah berkekalan macam tu.

9. Kerja aku pun OK. Kalau nak banding dengan orang yang tak ada kerja tu, 1000 kali eloknya. Jadi nak komplen pasai apa? Tiap-tiap bulan dapat gaji. Tiap-tiap bulan jugaklah kena bayar hutang pun. Tapi sapa yang tak ada hutang sekarang ni kan? Adalah kut, dua tiga orang tu kan....

10. Rumah aku pun selesa. Ada bumbung atas kepala, ada dinding pelindung dari angin dan hujan, ada lantai untuk aku duduk dan tidur.

Kalau nak sambung mesti banyak lagi.

Subhanallah, banyak sungguh pemberiah Allah untuk aku. Aku ini yang tak cukup mengucap syukur.

Memang tak patut sangatlah aku ni nak mengeluh kan? Tapi aku ni manusia yang punya kelemahan, yang selalu diburu oleh rasa tidak cukup. Sebab itulah aku selalu terasa untuk mengeluh.

February 03, 2006

Challenges To Parents

Disclaimer : This entry seems to be a bit of a heavy stuff. Just sharing what I feel on this issue. That's all. I am not asking people to agree or dis agree with me. If you have a comment I would appreciate it being done in a positive and constructive way so that we all can learn from each other.

A few days ago, in fact on the Maal Hijrah day (1 Muharram) when I took mak to see her regular doctor, we met with my arwah ayah's cousin (I think). I have known all my life as Mak Long and she knows me too. Her youngest son sent her to the clinic, took the number and left her with his youngest daughter. My mak had a chat with her while waiting for her turn to see the doctor. My second daughter Angah accompanied us so that she can walked the maktok into the clinic while I park the car etc. There were a lot of patients so it took us quite a while before mak's name was called.

While mak was in the doctor's room (with Angah) I had a chat with Mak Long. She was relating to me that she is staying with the youngest son who took her to the clinic. I know him too. He has 4 children, 2 boys and 2 girls. Apparently, Mak Long's grandsons had been drop-outs since after their SPM exams. They failed and didn't try to repeat. In the end they are just at home "lepaking" around. Sad isn't it. I did asked why were they not try to go and work in a factory, at least it should relieve the burden from the parents to feed them. When she told me the answer, I was really taken aback and speechless. She said the grandsons were SHY to go and work in the factory. I have no word for them except that they were plain LAZY.

No way I could accept such excuse. I was flabbergasted beyond words. As far as I know the father (my 3rd cousin - I think?) is not a salaried worker, he worked in his family paddy field. But then again how much is that - sekangkang kera as the expression goes. It baffles me, how the children (not only these boys, others as well) could have such a LAZY attitude.

A friend of mine (not a Malaysian), told me not too long ago that he had to bail out his eldest son from debt. The son entered the University, taken up student loan, never paid the college fees and on top of that uses the credit card to maximum limit. He and his wife just couldn't forgive the son for doing so. Although he is now working with a shopping mall, now and trying to pay for his debts, the relationship has now a bit tense. Why the son did what he did? I guest peer pressure or even culture shock maybe.

I have also known of a family, they have 4 daughters who are smart girls, highly educated. 2 of them are graduates from the local universities. 2 are still doing their degrees. The elder 2 sisters, are always known to be "kurang ajar" with their own mother. They would ridicule her in front of their father over petty things like the choice of curtains etc. The eldest had just got married recently, all the arrangement (even the colour of her bunga telur and hantaran) were kept secrets by her from the mother. The 2nd daughter, had refused bluntly to take her mother to the bus station when the mother was returning home to KL from Penang. She would rather go dating!!!.

Whose fault are those? Is it the parents? Or is it the kids themselves?

I believe that character building is important. Parents have to instill the positive attitude into the children. I tend to agree with MakAndeh through her recent entries. So that the children can grow up to become useful people, to themselves and the family. But again, did the parents in those example failed to do that? I don't think so, maybe the kids themselves cannot get the ideas into their head. We can always bring the horse to water but can we force it to drink? Surely not right? So what is it then? Communication ? The way the parents communicate (verbally or non-verbal) is important.

In my family, my daughters have their freedom to express their views. They are not geniuses but then again we have been stressing why a good education is important to them. They can see that we take great pain to make sure that they can study comfortably. But then, if ever any one of them would be rude to hubby, mak or myself, they also know that they are in for a hiding. They are taught to be respectful, and to appreciate what are being given to them. I have had my daughters apologized to me for missing tuition classes due to their own carelessness. The reason why I do not employ another maid after bibik went home is also to "teach" them to be responsible people. To share the chores around the house although they have school work to be done.

I am NOT saying that I am a perfect parent. We learn along the way from seeing examples around us. I didn't come from a happy home atmosphere, but, I had made a choice long ago that I would not subject my children to similar situation. They will have a happy home environment. They will have open communication with me and their father in order for them to build a positive attitude towards life. I can say so far Alhamdulillah, I have been blessed with such a "useful" responsible family. We have to embrace the real meaning of Hijrah from bad attitude to positive attitude.

There are many more things which we can do as parents to make our children responsible people. I would appreciate your view.

I have found this quote from a newsletter which I subscribed to. I do tend to agree with the author.

If you are willing to do only what's easy, life will be hard.
But if you are willing to do what's hard, life will be easy."

* T.Harv Eker *

February 01, 2006

Family Day Out

Since so many days holiday for Chinese New Year and Maal Hijrah, I also become so lazy to update. You know lah, holiday mood maaa..... Anyway, I also see so many friends also no update, I am OK what? Join the club horrr?

On the eve of the Chinese New Year, it was customary for the Chinese to have their family dinner. To me it is a good practice which the other races should emulate. But then again if we do that, be sure that you folks stick to the fairness of taking turns between your own parents and the in laws. Don't be so autocratic (may it be the husband or the wife) as to just wanting to spend the dinner at your own parents. Be more tolerant and respect your parner's feeling too.

Enough of that!!. Taking the advantage of my mak not being at home (she was still at my youngest brother's at that time), I asked hubby, if we could take the girls out for dinner. Instead of just having rice and dishes at home, which is getting very boring by the days. He agreed, and when we told the girls that we were going for Pizza they were excited. They had wanted to have Pizza for a long time. Hubby does't really fancy pizza so that's why we rarely eat pizza when we go out. Being the eve of CNY, not many people were in the Pizza Hut restaurant which was rather comfortable. We went early because Angah had a tuition class at 8.30 pm. Oh yes, even during the holidays, tuition classes still go on. It was a good outing, since we were all together as a family, having a meal together outside the home atmosphere. It may NOT be a big deal to some, but for a long time it is becoming difficult for us to go out together as a family. Having mak at home, without the bibik and Kak Long away at the college.

The next day, we had another invitation to a wedding. My cousin, who is already 44 years old had finally met her "jodoh". Actually, while we were having the pizza the previous evening, we were also planning maybe we could go for a western food outlet by the beach in Butterworth. If it means another outing the girls were all ready to go. As I was telling the girls to get ready to go out, one of then was saying " Tu maktok balik macam mana nak pi?" Dissapointed!!!. I had to laugh at their dissapoinment. No rezeki. Mak was sent home by my sisters. She went to the wedding with my youngest brother, then take the ride home to my house from my younger sister S.

So had to scrap the idea of another outing. What touched me was, Syia came to tell me that she volunteered to stay home with Maktok if we decided to go. Kak Long said the same thing. I told them if they were not going we will not go. We can try to plan for another occasion, surely. The next occasion nearly arised on Monday. Hubby's sister invited us for a kenduri aqiqah for her 4 month old grandson. Abang Long's (my eldest brother) brother in law was getting married. We were invited too. But due to the distance (opposite ways anyway) I had told hubby we should go to only his sister's place. Discussed with mak the night before as to where she wanted to go. She said she wanted to stay home, but there would be no one home. She opted to follow Abang Long and S to the wedding instead. If that went well, we may have that family dinner again. But there was a miscommunication that day, which ended up mak being left out by Abang Long and S. In the end, mak followed us to the aqiqah kenduri instead. Not the we minded, the food was really good. The kurma kambing made from the aqiqah meat was really delicious. My SIL even packed lots of rice and dishes to take home. The girls even had a second helping after we reached home. Even Angah who had been trying to cut down rice for dinner to loose weight had another makan. :-).

Failed again, it seems. But nevermine. the rezeki was aplenty. I didn't have to cook yesterday for lunch due to that. For the evening dinner, I asked the girls what they wanted to eat. Kak Long suspiciously answered. "Mama, usually tak pernah tanya pun, masak saja, why hari ni tanya? " I smiled. She continued, " Ni mesti nak pi sama baba makan ni, nak tapau kat kami. Tak fair, tak fair. Sure punya lah, kalau tak boleh pi mama dengan baba nak pi dua orang saja tu ". I said, " OK lah tu, at least you all can still get to eat" Ayin said, it's OK for her that way. That was what we did. Hubby and i went out to do some errant, we had dinner together and bring home some food for the girls.

Today, the girls are out to town.Having a day out on their own. All four of them plus Kak Long's friends. Hubby sent them all to the shopping mall and they will come back on their own. They were given RM30 each as "upah" for the things they do around the house. Incentive lah ni.

So how was your holiday? For those who have not got any (overseas dwellers tu). May be can tell us how the CNY and Maal Hijrah were being celebrated there.