I am 50 Today

Terharu jugak aku ni bila tengok ada jugak orang m asih menjenguk blog yang dah sunyi sepi sejak Feb 2008.

Terima kasih lah pada yang masih ingat pada AN ni. Especially to jokontan, kerana dia blogger yang pertama yang sms birthday wish to AN this morning.

So nak cerita sikit lah macam mana aku lalui birthday hari ni.

Sebenarnya weekend baru ni memang sibuk habis.

Maklumlah anak sedara kawin pada hari sabtu. Kemudian ahad kena pulak menghantar mempelai ke Yan (rumah pengantin lelaki). Asyik makan kenduri ajelah. Sabtu pun ada 3, tapi yang mampu pergi 2 ajelah sebab 1 rumah sepupu hubby. 2. rumah kakak sendiri.

Malam ahad tu pulak dah kena pergi mesyuarat program Hari Keluarga yang nak di adakan pada minggu depan. Hampir-hampir aku miss mesyuarat tu.

Jadinya, balik dari mesyuarat, tidur terus. Masa anak-anak datang wish happy birthday (at midnight) pun aku dah tak buka mata. Just say thanks saja.

Pagi tadi, lepas dah tutup pintu pagar semasa hubby keluar nak pergi kerja, macam biasalah rutin aku tu. Sapu laman sikit, keluarkan kain baju untuk di ampai, gitu-gitu lah. Hari ni memang aku cakap dengan anak-anak dara aku tu aku tak nak masak, nak suruh diorang yang sediakan makan pulak. Nasib baik mak ke rumah adik bongsu aku sebab abang lang ada kat sana. Abang lang balik makan kenduri kat rumah kakak M.

Pagi-pagi aku biasanya melayan aku punya "addiction" yang terbaru. Masih juga melalui internet, tapi bukan blogging atau chatting. Dah lama aku tak buat benda-benda tu. Sebab tu lah sepi saja blog ni. I will make an entry on the new "addiction" tu. Baru ada idea nak tulis nanti tu. Kak Long pun ada suggest aku tulis pasal tu hehehe.

Aku memang dah plan nak keluar hari ni. Tapi tak lah terlalu awal. Jadinya, dalam 11.00 lebih, aku terfikir ank ajak hubby pergi lunch. Konon, romantik lunch just the 2 of us lah. Bila call, kena tanya dulu dia sibuk ke tak, nasib baik jugak dia tak berapa sibuk. Jadi aku kena pergi dulu kat restoran tu, order food for 2, dan tunggu dia datang. Ambient memang romantik sekali, background music pulak lagu-lagu Engelbert Humperdink lah pulak. Menusuk kalbu betul lah tu hehehhe.

Yang spoilnya walau pun makanan nampak sedap, tapi sedikit masin, dan saladnya terlebih cuka. Hubby memang tak gemar makanan yang masam. Masa desert tu kami share banana split sebab desert aku terlambat sampai. Bila dah habis bana split tu baru diorang hantar desert yang aku order. Jadi share jugaklah desert yang kedua tu. Romantik habis nooo...

Lepas makan, aku pun pergi Carrefour seberang jaya, shopping groceries etc. Tup-tup Kak Zaini (one of my mentor) telefon ajak ke KL sebab ada SMIDec Convention kat KLCC on 4 June. Tayar kereta dah botak, memang dah plan nak tukar, hanya menunggu hari aje lah. Lepas aku discuss dengan hubby terus lah aku ke kedai tayar tukar 4, 4 tayar kereta tu. terbang RM900. Investment yang terpaksa, dan diperlukan. Kena jugak tukar, Takut nanti meletup dalam perjalanan pulak. Jadinya agak lewat aku sampai balik ke rumah hari ni.

Sampai di rumah, fish and chip yang anak-anak kata nak siapkan tu masih lagi ikan dan ubi mentah. Jenuh nak kerah budak-budak tu, suruh cepatkan sebab nanti baba nak balik makan. 4 sekali kerja, jadi cepatlah sikit, tapi penuhlah dapur tadi tu, asyik berlaga b*nt*t ajelah. Tapi tak apa, tak ada terasa apa-apa pun. hehehe.

Dah malam baru boleh nak post blog entry ni.

Sebenarnya cuak jugak aku ni sampai ke umur ini. Terasa diri dah dekat dengan pintu kubur dah, tapi rasanya persedian masih belum mencukupi. Uban di kepala pun dah tak larat nak di cabut dah. Nasib lah pakai tudung, tak nampak lah uban tu. Masih lah boleh orang dok kata aku ni tak nampak macam makcik 50 tahun. Alah, diorang tu just trying to be kind I think. Dah aku mekap tebal-tebal, tak nampak lah kedut-kedut kat muka tu kan. kan sekarang ni pun banyak produk yang boleh "rasa muda, jadi muda" tu kan. Telan je setiap hari, jadi "muda" lah nanti. Walau rupa nampak muda, umur tak "muda" kann....

InsyaAllah, aku nak aktif semula berblogging. Cuma mungkin tak se aktif dulu. Tak kan setiap entry nak cerita pasal kegiatan harian aku yang dah jadi "desperate housewife" ni kan? Nak jugak value add sikit. Kut nak bagi pedoman ke panduan ke, ke arah menjadi seorang usahawan or something. Baru lah ada isi yang mantap untuk blog. Buat malu aku je lah kalau asyik dok melalut tak kena gaya.

Lepas aku balik nanti aku cuba ceritakan apa ada pada convention tu, OK.

Yang masih ingat pada aku, terima kasih. Sebenarnya aku pun ingat kat semua. Cuma kadang-kadang terasa rendah diri bila nak cerita kegiatan aku yang dah tak berapa menarik ni.

Salam to all.

Travel & Tragedy

It's been a long time that I had a chance to travel on my own (without hubby). Eversince I stopped work, there was no necessity for business travel. The last time I had that was when I was taking the entrpreneural course.

Recently, I had the opportunity to travel without hubby. Not that I don't like to travel with him, but at times I do want to meet my friends whom he can't really relate to or feel shy to relate to. I had to attend a certification course, Kak Long and Angah were starting a new semester. My course was during the weekdays, Ayin and Syia would not be able to follow unless they were willing to forgo (read : ponteng) 4 days of schooling. Hubby would of course need to stay back with them. Since Angah had just acquired her driving licence, she and I would be able to drive alternately to KL and back.

So we travelled south on Tuesday, and we planned to come back home on Friday. We went straight down to Malacca to send angah and I drove to Shah Alam with Kak Long. My course were on Wednesday and Thursday, so early Wednesday morning on my way to the training venue I dropped Kak Long at her campus. Since I was "single" and able to move more freely, I did make some plan to meet some friends. First was the taggers from Joe Perantau's blog. Six of them came to meet me. Sudi jugak diorang ni jumpa makcik ni.

It was about 9.30 pm when I arrived at Abang Lang's house in Shah Alam. They were having a BBQ. What was the occasion? I guessed it was just a family reunion since his eldest daughter, son-in-law and grandaughter were at their home too. I didn't know that they were having the BBQ, so for the whole day I had too much to eat. What with the training menu, the dinner with the tagger at Secret Recipe and then the BBQ. My tummy had quite a jolt that day.

Angah smsed to tell me that she would have class until rather late on Friday, (Kak Long was free the whole day Friday), Angah said that she planned to a give (ponteng) Monday and Tuesday classes a miss for the Chinese New Year week (this week). Most of her classmates are Chinese and they are skipping class too. Wednesday class had been cancelled anyway. That would mean that, if she followed me home, she would be able to stay for a week. Our original plan was, for them to follow me home (as to keep me company during the journey home bound) and they would go back to campus on Sunday by bus and then would be back again for CNY. Hubby had already bought tickets for them to come home from KL to Penang on Wednesday. Kak Long was OK to with the idea. Therefore, I was free on Friday without any plan.

Early morning Friday, I called a few friends to see if they were available. My best friend from STF was availablle. Her hubby was outstation, and she is a full time house wife. Just my luck. I spend 1/2 a day at her home catching up with news. Sadly to know that her elder brother had passed away about a year ago. We knew each other family quite well actually.

Originally, I wanted to visit Kak Yan , who had recently undergone 2 operations. When I called, she told me that she and her husband were planning to go back to husband's kampung for a wedding. Suprisingly, while I was at my best friend place, she called to say that she had managed to persuade the hubby to go by himself. Caya lah you Kak Yan hehehe. So, after leaving my friend's house, I went to pick up Kak Long, had a late lunch with her, tapau Mee Goreng for Kak Yan and off we went to Bangi. Kak Yan was suprised that I managed to find her house just based on the address she sms to me. Not bad huh, for some one who always lost her way hehehe.

Actually, I wanted to see another school friend in Putrajaya, but she was getting ready to attend a niece's engagement ceremony in Lumut, so had to give it a miss. Angah informed us that the bus ticket from Malacca to Shah Alam had already sold out so I advised her to take what ever mean of transport on Friday evening to meet up with me and Kak Long. She ended up taking a bus to Pudu Raya. Her friend picked her up from the bus station and delivered her to Abang Lang's place that night. That saved me a trip to Pudu Raya.

The 3 of us travelled back to Penang on Saturday. If it was a Friday, I would have stopped at Sungai Buloh to meet up with a blogger. Belum ada rezeki nak jumpa ME lagi ni. Hubby had called up to say that he had bought tickets to see a movie that evening at the Sunway Carnival Mall. Since my mother was still at my youngest brother we took the opportunity to see a movie that evening with the whole family, something of a luxury nowadays for us.

The mall was quite packed, it being a Saturday evening and all. While we waiting for the movie to start we all went down to Popular Book Shop. It was about 9.00 pm when suddently there was some commossion going on in the mall. The Popular bookshop and all the other shops doors were lowered. We were not allowed to get out of the shop. I heard a guy was telling someone that there was a robbery at the ground floor and a guard was shot dead. It sounded too fantastic to be real. I spotted a former colleague and re-confirm the news with her. After a few minutes we were allowed to get out. We went up to the cineplex floor and were at first being asked to leave. Hubby and I at first decided to leave, but on second thought, we decided to stay with the other movie goers. The movies were not cancelled. We decided to stay because, at that point if we were to leave, there would be only a few leaving, we had no idea what would be in store for us at the parking lot. If we were to stay, we would be in a crowd, so it seemed safer that way. We watched the movie with the other and came out with the crowd.



I don't know what to say to this, but very early that morning, after the Subuh prayer when I went back to sleep I actually had a dream that, we were in the mall watching a movie, when someone got killed right in front of our eyes. In my dream, I lost my hand bag in the process of rushing to get out of the theater and although I did recover my bag, all my belongings were lost. I told Kak Long and Angah about it and when we were put in the situation at the mall, I recalled the dream. I didn't bring the handbag and Alhamdullillah we were all safe.

Innalillah... our condolence to the gaurd's family.

2008

Rasanya baru saja kita menyambut 2007, tapi sedar tak sedar dah 1 tahun berlalu. Banyak jugak peristiwa suka duka yang kami alami dalam 2007 tu. Tak tahu pulaklah macam mana 2008 ni. Kadang-kadang rasa takut jugak nak menghadapi hari-hari yang mendatang tapi, apa boleh buat, masa tak boleh nak diundur ke belakang.

Yang paling bermakna kepada aku dalam 2007 adalah aku telah kehilangan pekerjaan. Terpaksa berhijrah dari employed stage ke semi-retirement stage. 9 bulan yang lepas ni nak kata aku comfortable tak lah jugak. Mungkin semua orang ingat, aku jadi orang kaya baru sebab dapat pampasan dari company sebab kena lay-off. Tak lah jugak sebenarnya. Duit, kalau setinggi gunung Himalaya pun kalau hari-hari di korek sikit-sikt, lama-lama tu habis lah jugak. Unless lah kalau kita ada passive income yang boleh tambah duit tu jadikan gunung yang lebih tinggi. Setakat ini, aku hanay boleh kata, adakala aku jadi stress jugak bila ingatkan kedudukan kewangan kami. Sebab terpaksa bergantung pada hubby dalam banyak hal. Aku kesiankan dia yang juga sedikit tertekan, sebab kena menanggung perbelanjaan keluarga secara total sekarang ini.

Walaupun aku tak regret yang aku tak cari kerja lain, sebab aku nak cuba suatu yang baru. Nak cuba menjadi self-employed, my own boss lah kononnya ni kan, tapi, most people yang dah pernah lalui stage ini akan tahu the first year adalah yang terperit bagi orang-orang yang macam aku ni. Banyak benda yang kena fikir, apa nak buat, macam mana nak buat marketing produk/servis kita, macam mana nak bersaing dengan orang/company yang dah establish tu. Macam-macam. It is NOT easy. Jadinya ada jugak kadangkala aku pun macam rasa nak cari kerja semula. Tak tahulah kalau tak ada apa-apa bila aku dah sampai 12 bulan dalam semi-retirement ni, mungkin aku terpaksa cari kerja jugak kut. Walaupun berat hati aku nak fikir yang aku mungkin kena cari kerja lain tu. InsyAllah, aku boleh bertahan.

Yang paling menggembirakan bagi kami sekeluarga dalam 2007 ni adalah kejayaan Ayin dalam PMR. Dia dapat 9A. Ayin sememangnya anak aku yang paling berdisiplin dalam hidup dia. Nak kata dia tu intelligent or a genius tu tak lah jugak. Tapi dia hardworking. Aku tak perlu banyak nak bantu dia nak set matlamat atau time table untuk dia. Sikit-sikit saja aku kena guide dia. Dari UPSR lagi aku dah nampak potential dia. Dia sendiri set goals dia, dia sendiri disiplinkan diri dia, bila nak pergi tuisyen, apa subjeck nak ambik, bila nak study dan makanan apa yang dia boleh makan atau kena pantang. Jadi bila exam year tu, dia pantang dari memakan makanan yang masam-masam, yang bergas, kepala ikan dan lain-lain.

She was quite plump masa darjah 6, tapi sekarang dah kurus kering dah, macam model, hehehe. Sekeping je badan tu. Takut dia nak makan makanan yang berlemak-lemak. Kalau dia boleh tahan lepas maghrib dia tak makan dah. Diet tu diet jugak tapi, it does not mean that she doesn't enjoy food. Susah tak nak makan kat rumah kami ni hehehe. Alhamdulillah rezeki kami masih boleh dikatakan murah lagi so far.

Anyway, this year 2008, aku tak ada anak-anak yang exam. Ayin dan Syia akan sama-sama exam (SPM dan PMR) pada tahun depan 2009. Jadinya relax lah sikit tahun ni. Syia akan jadi tension nak keep-up with Ayin's success, dan Ayin is so happy sebab dia akan sentiasa maintain top scorer dalam PMR. Sebab Syia hanya mungkin akan ambik 8 subjecks sahaja berbanding Ayin yang bersekolah Agama (9 subjecks termasuk Bahasa Arab). But it is a healthy competiton. On her part Ayin akan mula merancang untuk SPM 2009, dari tahun ini lagi. Sekolah dia adalah one of the best in Penang in PMR, so the teachers dah mula plan untuk SPM 2009 bagi budak2 yang baru lepas PMR ni. Walaupun Ayin is "eyeing" a better school, tapi pada kami sekolah dia yang sekarang ni memang dah cukup bagus. Record sekolah tu memang so far selalu meningkat saja. Batch Ayin ni 70 students dapat 9A & 8A, out of 100 lebih candidates.

Apa-apa pun, aku banyak berharap dalam 2008 ni aku akan lebih bersemangat untuk berusaha untuk kejayaan diri aku dan keluarga. Tak kiralah apa juga bentuk kejayaan itu. Umur aku dah makin meningkat. Tahun ni aku akan menjangkau setengah abad. Aku kena dapatkan something yang meaningful sebelum aku rasa aku di panggil Allah. Banyak yang aku kena usahakan ni. Banyak sungguh angan-angan aku yang aku perlu jadikan kenyataan. InsyaAllah dalam 2008 dan 1429 H ni, Allah beri keberkatan kepada semua usaha-usaha murni kita semua.

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT TAHUN BARU 2008 dan MAAL HIJRAH 1429H