June 15, 2007

Bersemangat Nak Update Ni

Mula sekali, aku nak mintak maaf sebab tak jawab semua komen-komen kat last entry.
Lepas tu, let me get rid of the cobwebs first. Dah bersawang dah blog aku ni. Tak semangat langsung aku tengok.
Then let me get on with this update.
Since it is a Friday, it must be a good day to re-start the blog.
I hope what I am going to write here would not be construed as whining. It is not my intention to whine. I am just going to pour my heart out. It may help some people to realise that they may be having the same feeling as me but dare not admit it, to themselves or their loved ones (family and friends)
After the so called retirement, I put up a brave front. I thought, things would be OK. I have some money and hubby is working. What more could I ask for, stay home and become the happy housewife (then later a desperate housewife OK, LOL).
The first 2 months was really a paradigm shift for me. I was like groping in the dark, not really know what to do. I thought that I had it all planned. Maybe it was all in my head and therefore execution is not always as easy as it looks. I had been telling hubby that I did not want to get back to work full time, I thought I may be ready to work part time or become an entreprenuer. Hubby seems to go along, while in his head he was not really confident that I am cut to be one. Anyhow, he saw the advertisement and I enrolled myself into the 8 weekend course. I told you about the entreprenuer development program, remember?
The program is all about a bank (GLC) promoting their products while developing the locals to become entreprenuer. It is a good program because you get to meet with the other participants who may have already have a business and those who were like me just learning the rope. The networking was great, we learnt from each other as well as the bank experiences in handling their customers. We were thought how to develop a proper business plan not just for the purpose of getting financing assistance from the bank, but as a guideline for you to monitor the development of your business.
It was a tiring 8 weekends for me trying to juggle the family life with the course. Because, I used to have the weekend for the family and then it was reversed. Although, I have "graduated" from the course, but it does make me realised that it would be just a beginning of perhaps a bigger "problem". To become an entreprenuer especially for a person as "naive" as me would not be something easy to do. There's competions that you have to consider, there's finance, marketing etc, etc. When you were working for other people, you would just be managing a single task either in Production, Marketing or Materials. Although the structure is the same, you willl have to have those functions in your company, but it may be that you may be habdling them all by yourselves unless of course you can afford to pay people. But at a start most entreprenuer would want to have a very lean organisation.
On personal/family issue, to actually be faced with the realities that you are no longer earning a monthly income, had also caused a slight strain in my relationship with hubby. He is still very understanding and supportive, but hearing him sigh everytime the children ask for money is causing me to be stressful. We used to have 2 incomes before, it used to be that the girls asked from me for their tuition fees, their school and college fees, I covered the house loan, the household expenses etc. So most of those were almost "invisible" from hubby. But now, everything he has to take care of. I was so stressed out that I was really sick on the last weekend of my course. But what really helped is the prayers. I did solat hajat to prevent me from falling into a depression. Alhamdulillah, I can feel that Allah is "looking" after me. I am now much better, especially emotionally. Physically, still "cun melecun" as ever, hehehe.
Life is not going to be all beds of roses after this. But, I will try to manage the best I can. InsyaAllah, I will have rezeki on the table, we will not go hungry. I am counting my blessings also because there are people who are in far worse situation than I am right now.
I shied away from blogging for a long time because I didn't want the negatives aura that was with me to be felt by my friends. I know that all of you care for me. I thank you from the bottom of my hearts for that. To those who had come and left a comment here, my apologies for not replying. My PC had crashed down twice already so far (of course not from blogging, LOL), and I had some trouble getting into the blog. Lame excuse right? Anyway, I will try harder to write again.
Thank you also for the birthday wishes. I know it it only just numbers, but I am moving towards 1/2 a century in age and a paradigm shift. Let's hope for a better tomorrow for everyone.

20 comments:

bergen said...

You hang in there, ma'am, and pull this through. You gotta do it and keep a positive thinking on things. Afterall, you've gotta be tested to see what you are made of.

Just do it. Keep going. Never never give up.

Anonymous said...

salam AN...missed u so much......
sabarlah, insyallah everything will be o.k
Mak Ety

AuntieYan @ Makcik Blogger said...

Yeeeyyyyy...N is back!!!

Happy Belated Birthday!!!

DeLinn said...

Salam AN

Take care dan selamat berjuang! :)

DeLinn

royce said...

salam AN

Semoga dipermudahkan...aminnn

Rojak said...

Welkam beck AN..welkam beck..!Insya Allah "rintangan menguji kekuatan. kekuatan memberi keyakinan.keyakinan menjelmakan kebijaksanaan... kebijaksanaan menzahirkan kemenangan..Inysa allah.

Mutiara said...

Welcome back N.
There you go blog away.

Anonymous said...

salam AN
glad that ur back
balik bm pun sat sangat tak dan nak pi jenguk, dapat baca berita kat blog pun baguih jugak

tenah

cikdinz said...

good luck kakak...

AuntyN said...

Mr Bergen, thanks for the sound advice.

Ety, I miss you all too. Thanks.

Kak yan, thanks for the wish. Yeah, I'm back!!!

delinn & royce, thanks and you guys take care too.

rojak, thanks for the kind words.

Kak Sal, mana boleh tinggai blog lama-lama hehehe, nanti kemaruk nak update.

tenah, I was wondering whether you are back, sbb tak contact pun. All the best to you too.

cikdinz, thanks.

demonsinme said...

Madam AN:

Welcome back, I long for your indightful entries and wisdom.

An unworthy come back gift.

Old Wives Tales

An old wives tale,
would never be stale,
would never make a son go pale,
would never make a daughter wail.

As ancient as it hails,
it is the wind that move one sail,
it is the nothern star that guide one trough the nightmares tail,
it is the wisdom that makes one prevail.

An Old Wives Tale,
a lady's chain mail.
though it looks so very frail,
a big wound would it avoid without fail.

AuntyN said...

demonsinme, thanks so much for the poem. You make me feel old lah hehehehe. Joking only OK?

tokasid said...

Salam kak AN:

Memang lama sungguh blog kak AN hibernate tapi Alhamdulillah dah re-launch semula.
Dalam hidup ni tak semua indah belaka dan tak semua senang setiap masa. Memang perit bila income slashed by half dan payah nak adjust esp to the kids.this is where the sabar part comes in. InsyaALLAH slow2 boleh overcome apa jua masaalah.
Your blog will always be link to mine.
salam again.

AuntyN said...

tokasid : Salam. Terimakasih atas kata-kata semangat tu. InsyaAllah AN akan cuba sedaya upaya untuk berusaha lebih gigih dalam "blogging" :-) dan usaha cari duit hehehe. Thanks for the link.

Ari said...

AN tak perlu kesian sangat kat hubby tu..dah lama dah AN dok tolong sara..biar dia rasa full load pulak..memang sakit..tapi garenti dia boleh buat lah..ada banyak hubby lain yang sara sepenuhnya ..dah puluh tahun saya dok sara seorang..kira hubby you tu nasib baik jugak lah..Take your time AN.

Jiwa Rasa said...

AN,

Welcome back and all the best. I am confident that you can be successful in your new venture. You have the relevant experience and determination.

AuntyN said...

En Ari : thanks. For sure hubby AN boleh buat. Tapi AN yang rasa kami patut sama2 kongsi tanggungjawab tu, itu sajalah. Memang dia boleh buat for sure.

Jiwa : Thanks to you too. InsyaAllah.

Blabarella said...

Salams AuntyN, although I lama senyap, but I've been coming here every now and then to check. So was quite sad when I didn't see any updates in a while - thought you'd given up blogging (I know it can be hard sometimes). But it's good to see you back in action! And man, those durians are making me salivate lah .. ni nak kena cari ni masa balik Msia nanti.

Blabarella said...

Salams AuntyN, although I lama senyap, but I've been coming here every now and then to check. So was quite sad when I didn't see any updates in a while - thought you'd given up blogging (I know it can be hard sometimes). But it's good to see you back in action! And man, those durians are making me salivate lah .. ni nak kena cari ni masa balik Msia nanti.

Blabarella said...
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