On the first day of dialysis which fell on the 2nd day of Ramadhan, hubby get himself prepared with a drink in a flask. Just in case he had difficulties during dialysis. Alhamdulillah, he was OK and still continuing fasting until today. There are a few other patients who are not able to fast. One of the ladies Kak Ana, said that she was feeling nauseating when she tried fasting on the first day. I remembered that she was looking weak and pale on the 2nd day of Ramadhan. The others like Cikgu Rahman, En. Hashim are doing OK fasting while undergoing dialysis.
Since his dialysis time is in the afternoon, starting around 3.00 pm, the breaking of fast is normally while he is still in the process of dialysis. He will eat a little, kurma or some kueh. Then, he will have a heavier meal when we get home. His current regret is not being able to go to the Pasar Ramadhan. I prefer for him not to go since he usually will over spent when he went to the Pasar Ramadhan. Anyhow, it would tire him easily walking in the hot sun from one gerai to another. I tried to get something he like at the pasar Ramadhan or cook it myself. It is healthier if it is cooked at home, I can control the ingredients such as salt, sugar, MSG and etc. But, in doing so, the food taste a little bland and hubby does not like it that much.
As for me, dialysis days breaking of fast is also at the hospital. I usually send him to the hospital at 2.30pm, perform my zuhur prayer, then I will buy food at the pasar ramadhan near by. Then I will head home first, because, ayin, syia, my mother and the bibik will need food to eat for breaking of fast. After asar prayer around 6.15 pm, sometimes earlier, I will be driving back to the hospital. After placing the food for hubby, I will either chat with the other patients or will get ready for breaking of fast myself. So the food will be in 2 portions, one for hubby, one for me. I usually will have to break the fast all by myself, alone. If I can see some cleaners sitting outside the dialysis center I will join them, otherwise it is all by myself at the surau or the waiting lounge outside the dialysis center. At times, the emotion of having to break the fast all alone engulfed me, filling my eyes with tears. However, thinking back, Alhamdullillah I am able to perform my duties as Allah's servant and wife.
Reflecting on the current condition, hubby and I will be spending half of our lives in the hospitals. For how long, I have no idea, maybe when the girls are all working and married, my duties to send and fetch hubby to the hospitals can be taken by one or all of them in turn. It all depends on who will be working and living near us later.
Today is already the 10th day of Ramadhan, I hope that the quality of fasting has increased. My prayers are with all kidney patients out there, InsyaAllah, may you be able to fast this Ramadhan.