Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

Sekejap sangat rasanya Ramadhan tahun ni. Tak sempat nak rasa penat dah nak raya dah kan. Tak sempat nak betul-betul menghayati tarawikh, dah nak habis dah. Masa berlalu terlalu pantas. Kadang-kadang entah apa-apa yang kita buat dah nak habis sebulan.

Tahun ni tahun kedua aku berpuasa sebagai full time "desperate housewife". Jadinya awal-awal aku berazam nak berdisiplin sikit tentang solat tarawikh. Nak tunaikan sebanyak mungkin. Jadinya sejak malam 1 Ramadhan aku dah mula ke masjid. Ayin kata, esok je lah mama kita start ke masjid dolat tarawikh, tapi aku cakap kalau tak start malam ni, nanti dah naik malas. Macam tahun lepas, memang aku malas nak ke masjid. Bila dah tak ke masjid, kadang-kadnag tu miss jugaklah kat rumah tu tak buat pun. Tidur yang banyak.

Jadi tahun ni Alhamdulillah, aku paksa dirii aku ke masjid. Ayin dan Syia ada juga ikut aku. Kadang-kadang masa aku uzur atau tertidur, diorang sendiri yang pergi. Diorang kalau pergi tu buat 8 rakaat saja. Aku buat 20 + 3 rakaat selepas 15 Ramadhan. Sebelum tu ada yang 20 ada yang 8.

Hari ni dah 28 Ramadhan. Tinggal 2 malam saja lagi nak tarawikh InsyaAllah. Harap-harap malam LailatulQadar tu aku lalui sebaik mungkin.

Persedian raya tahun agak awal jugak. Baju raya anak-anak dara aku tu sedari hari pertama Ramadhan dah di beli. Baju kurung sorang sepasang je. Seronok budak-budak tu dapat beli baju awal, tak macam dulu-dulu yang last minit baru nak pergi beli. Susah nak mencari yang sesuai sebab dah nak habis baju kat kedai tu di pilih orang.

Sebenarnya bukan pasal apa yang terbeli awal tu. Kak Longdengan Angah, balik nak sambut Ramadhan dengan kami. Dapatlah berpuasa 1 hari di rumah. Hubby kata elok pergi shopping terus, jadi diorang anak-anak dara tu ikut je baba diorang pergi shopping baju raya. Aku tak pergi sebab tak ada orang nak jaga maktok kalau semua sekali pergi. Jadinya tak lah berkedai-kedai memilih baju, sekadar masuk satu kedai je, borong 5 pasang baju kurung. 5 Pasang le, sebab 4 anak dara + 1 mak dara hehehe. Kak Long tolong pilihkan untuk saiz aku. Sebenarnya aku ada cakap tak payah belikan sebab aku baru beli sepasang baju kurung Pahang bulan 7 dulu. Elok lagi sebab baru dipakai 2, 3 kali aje, tak nak membazir lah konon. Tapi orang dah sayang katakan, dia beli lah jugak sepasang kan hehehe. Alhamdullillah.

Tu bab baju, tudung belum lagi, kadut belum lagi. Bab ini, hari ni baru aku bawak diorang pergi beli. Tudung 5 helai pun dah seratus lebih. Lepas tu bawak diorang ke Jaya Jusco yang baru buka tu untuk beli kasut. Setiapp kedai kasut diorang ni masuk. Setiap kasut di beli di kedai berbeza. Kak Long dan Angahsiapp dengan kasut tinggi diorang. Angah siap yang ada "bling-bling lagi. Ayin pulak cerewet sangat nak buat pilihan. Last-last dapatyang paling murah. Syia, mula tu memang tak nak beli sandal baru sebab sandal dia elok lagi, tapi dok tengok kakak beli kesian pulak nanti dia pakai sandal lama tu, aku belikan jugak sandal yang baru. Dia ni sandal BATA je lah selalu sesuai dengan dia. Habis tu beli tudung dengan kasut habis jugaklah RM400 duit aku tadi tu.

Siang nanti, hubby ajak pergi shopping barang-barang dapur lah pulak. Rumah kami ni kan selalu jadi tumpuan, jadinya setiap tahun kami kena berbelanja lebih dari adik-beradik yang lain. Fridge pun akan jadi sesak dengan barang-barang yang nak di masak nanti tu. Aku pun sehari sebelum raya tu seperti biasa kena start acara memasak. Kadang-kadang nak jugak ajak je adik aku tu datang tolong masak kat rumah aku ni.

Tadi aku dah bahagi-bahagikankerja rumah kat anak-anak aku. Kak Long kena bersih dan susun atur almari kat dapur tu. Angah kerjanya memanjat dan membersihkan kipas-kipas kat dalam rumah, Ayin dah ambik tugas mop lantai dan Syia pulak volunteer nak cuci tandas. Betul dia volunteer. Aku cuma cakap apa tugas yang kena buat dan diorang yang pilih apa nak buat tau. Sepanjang bulan puasa ni ada anak sedara aku duduk dengan kami, dia buat masa kerja kat kedai minyak sebelah rumah aku ni, yang ni aku belum berikan kerja kat dia lagi. Mungkin nak suruh sapu laman esok rasanya. Hari Isnin atau selasa, nak kemas bilik-bilik sebab nanti Abang lang dengan keluarga dia tidur kat rumah aku. Tahun ni diorang balik selepas ziarah kubur Nora di raya pertama tu. Aku boleh agak yang ini akan menjadi rutin baru diorang setiap tahun. Mungkin Athirah akan jugak ikut bersama diorang. Bapa Athirah aku tak pasti, walaupun aku ada jugak invite dia sekali balik beraya di sini. Walaupun Nora dah tak ada, hubungan dia dengan kami akan tetap seperti dulu, sebabnya ada Athirah sebagai penyambung silaturrahim tu.

Kat sini aku dan keluarga nak ucapkan Selamat Menyambut Aidilfitri dann Maaf Zahir dan Batin kepada semua yang sudi datang baca blog AuntyN. Selama dok baca-baca ni mungkin ada bahasa yang menyinggung perasaan atau terusik hati tu, harap dapat dimaafkan. Sesiapa yang lalu kut rumah atau kut kampung ni silalah singgah AuntyN. kalau rendang dah habis pun, insyaAllah air teh kosong masih boleh dihidangkan hehehe.

Yang nak balik kampung berhati-hati di jalan raya. Ingat Allah dan orang-orangyang tersayang yang nak anda jumpa nanti tu, Jadi pandulah dengan berhemah. Kalau ngantuk, tukar drebar ke, berenti kat station Petronas ke minum kopi free OK.

Bila dah seronok beraya tu, jangan sampai lupa amalan seharian kita, nanti dah pakai baju cantik, muka make-up lawa-lawa, dah lupa pulak nak solat. Habis pahala 1 bulan puasa. Tak pun dah mula melantak sampai macam ular kekenyangan tu, asyik pulak dok melengkar depan TV, sampai tak sedar waktu solat dah nak habis.

Sekali Lagi

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

DAN

MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATHIN

My Answers Part 2

I really don't know how to get in touch with the "blogger analyst", so I just hope that he/she reads this and comment again. I know that I don't owe anyone any explaination but after the "commotion" in the comment box, I can't help but respond.


The blogger analyst said :

When a blog is left unblog for quite sometime, there are few possibilities;

1. The blogger is sick?

Well, except for some sore throat a few week back, Alhamdulillah, I am not seriously sick.

Unless of course I have some other sickness in me which I have no idea about. I have not had a medical check-up for years now. Bad, isn’t it? Especially a makcik my age. I am supposed to have pap-smears, mammogram, blood cholesterol, blood sugar level, all those regiments right? !!.

But so far, I am fine thanks.

2. The blogger is dead?

Alhamdulillah, I am still alive and kicking. Maybe not as high as Dato Michelle Yeoh but still can kick lah. So don’t try to cross me OK. Hehehe.

Reminder : Need to buy the Anlene Concentrate tomorrow.

3. The blogger is detained by the authorities?

Why should I be detained by the authorities?

My kampung blog contain nothing that may have caused harm to the national security. Tak glemer pun. The police may not even read my blog. It's so harmless.

Apart from some unpaid traffic summons, I have not broken any law. I am such peace loving and law abiding makcik, so why should I be detained.

A few years ago, I even discover that some of the traffic summons, although they were in my name and my car number plate, they were not committed by me. How come? Well, supposedly, my car plate was photographed at places that I had never step my foot on. Somewhere in Kuantan. I don’t know how it happened but, lucky the police believed my story and I didn’t have to pay a single cent.

4. The blogger is having menoPAUSE?

What Menopause got to do with blogging anyway? Have you got any data that relate menopause to blogging ? It would be nice to know.

There are so many lady bloggers out there, who are already menopaused or near to menopause who are happily blogging. The eldest who I have come across was 72 years old lady, from Brazil, I am quite sure that she is already menopaused.

I am not into menopause yet but maybe I was having a “blogging perimanopause”, hehehe. Perimenopause is a period prior to menopause, when one would experience some symptoms of menopause.

So don’t underestimate the menopaused ladies blogger out there. They are doing a great job with their blogs. Some are even better than the younger ladies.

What about male bloggers ? If I am not mistaken there is a term as male menopause too. Are those who pause in blogging can be considered as having a male menopause syndrome?

I don’t know, why don’t you tell me.

5. The blogger interest in blogging has fizzled out?

My interest in blogging has fizzled out? Hmmmm, it is kind of subjective really. I still like to read blogs, I still like writing blogs. But, I am the type that can easily be bored with repetitive tasks. So I need to cool off a bit in between.

If my interest has fizzled out I would do one of these two things.

Close down the blog or keep it open but I would announce that I would no longer be posting any entry. InsyaAllah, there would be a “farewell” entry prior to that. That is, if I don’t suddenly just drop dead before I could that.

Why keep it open? Well, this blog is supposed to be for my children to read when one day, I am no longer around and they may want to reflect on our lives together. Kind of, like a legacy to them or something similar. Not just a framed photograph of me, but something that may rekindle their memories of yesteryears.

Reminder : I need to improve my writing, then. Need to write more of the kampung lives.

Now, you tell me which one?

I have written so much, the answer must NONE of the above.

What about you? Are you a blogger yet? If yes, why not announce it to the world. Or are you into one of the above categories ? You must give us a chance to analyse your blog. How about that hmmm...? Only then it would be fair right?


Last word.

Thank you so much for coming to analyse my blog anyway. I am so touched that there is a blogger analyst who care to come by and analyse my blog.

p/s pssst AN dah taruh resipi baru kat blog Dapur AN. Pergilah skodeng.

My Answers Part 1

Entry ini dan yang seterusnya adalah jawapan kepada "Wake-up call" dan "Blogger Analyst". Sebelum tu, terimakasih kerana telah meninggalkan komen yang begitu "memberangsangkan". Kawan-kawan yang selalu datang baca blog ni dah faham sangat dengan fe'el aku. I feel that these 2 gentlemen/ladies (whatever is your gender) have given me a kick in the butt. So, aku terfikir untuk menjawab. Terpulang lah untuk diorang untuk menilai. Yang baik tu ambiklah jadikan tauladan, yang tak elok tu buat sempadan.

Wake up call kata :

S : Susah ke nak update blog?

J : Ada kala susah, ada kala senang. Lebih susah dari senang.

Bila aku mula berblog dulu tu, masa tu aku memang berkobar-kobar semangat nak berblog. Sebab utama masa tu, adalah, aku nak isi ruang masa yang aku duduk kerja goyang kaki menunggu masa untuk berhenti kerja. Masa tu perasaan/emosi terlalu berkecamuk dan aku tak nak rasa stress menghantui diri. Aku tak suka ”hover negative thoughts” Jadi aku turn to blogging.

Bila dah berhenti kerja, lain pulak emosinya. Banyak rasa rendah diri atau inferiority complex yang masuk ke dalam fikiran. Maklumlah, kalau kita baca blog orang ramai yang cerita bagus-bagus. Sedangkan cerita apa yang seorang makcik yang duduk kat kampung ni boleh cerita?. Tak kan nak cerita rutin aku seharian sepanjang masa. Dari mula aku bangun, buat kerja rumah yang tak habis-habis, sampai aku tidur. Aku boleh imagine betapa boringnya korang nak baca. Asyik-asyik cerita itu je lah.

Tak kan nak cerita pasal ayam-ayam aku, kucing-kucing aku. Pokok-pokok sekeliling rumah. Walaupun kalau aku cuba ceritakan setiap satu, boleh agaknya jadikan kajian ilmiah. Kena pulak lah aku ambik gambar, cari nama scientifiknya dan cari semua manafaat pokok-pokok tu tak? Mak oi, jenuh aku nak buat research untuk beratus-ratus jenis pokok kat halaman aku ni. Kalau aku buat macam tu, baik aku buat thesis PhD.

Memang ada benda yang aku nak tulis, misalnya, sejak aku tak kerja ni apa business yang aku dah cuba, macam mana berjaya ka atau tidak?. Aku pun rasanya boleh tulis macam mana cara aku cari business yang sesuai.

Tapi topik tu belum boleh aku tulis lagi sebab aku belum menjadi usahawan yang berjaya. Aku tak ada track record nak tunjukkan bahawa walau pun aku ni dah lanjut usia masih belum terlambat untuk berjaya.

Masa mula berblog memang banyak idea, tetapi lama kelamaan idea pun dah kurang. Terutamanya kalau orang seperti aku yang jarang keluar rumah berinteraksi dengan orang kat luar sana tu. Aku tak nak lah korang kata entry aku ni crappy. So lebih baik rasanya diam saja. Kalau terlalu meluahkan perasaan nanti yang datang membaca pun asyik tengok aku mengeluh saja. So it’s better for me to be quiet.

Kata Wake-Up Call lagi :

Asyik kata nak update tapi tak terbuat.

Hai, dah 50 tau. Takkan masih berkelakuan bagi janji Melayu aje.Sesibuk macam mana pun, kalau hati rela, semua pasti boleh bikin.Kan dah bilang yang kau ni dah cuak sampai ke umur nie. Habis, masih tak sedar ke? Jangan hanya bilang aje, aunty. Kan sendiri yang akui pintu kubur dah dekat. Masih nak bagi janji manis yang tak dapat dikotai. Lebih baik jangan janji, aunty.

Memang aku akui, aku cuak dengan usia sekarang. Aku memang sedar pintu kubur dah dekat, sebab tu aku sekarang dah banyakkan masa untuk muhasabah diri. Solat taubat, zikir lama sikit, cari tempat mengaji dan lain-lain. Itu pun tak kan aku nak cerita kat semua orang. Karang di katakan pulak aku ni riak. Amal aku tak banyak mana tapi ceritanya yang lebih. Biar Allah saja yang menilai.

Kadang-kadang memang aku janji nak cuba berblog dengan lebih banyak, tapi 3 bulan kebelakangan ini memang aku terlalu sibuk. Aku kerap tak ada kat rumah. Internet langsung tak sentuh. Mula dengan kenduri kawin anak sedara aku, ada program latihan USAHAWATI-MPC. Kena bertungkus-lumus buat persiapan sebab event tu besar lah jugak. Lepas tu Nora pulak sakit, aku ke Langkawi dengan USAHAWATI, kemudian hadiri perkebumian Nora, kemudian balik sehari ke Penang dan ke Melaka berkursus pulak. Pada masa yang sama terpaksa membuat persiapan terakhir untuk program latihan. Balik dari Melaka, ada pulak AGM USAHAWATI,walaupun aku ni AJK je, tapi sibuk jugaklah. Tak kan metting tak hadir etc.etc. Siap lah aku jadi MC/Pengerusi majlis tu hehehe. Kerja yang tak pernah aku buat pun.

Lepas dah reda pasal persatuan, dah pulak Permatang Pauh ada by-election. Famous or rather infamous jadinya kampung aku masa tu. Aku tak lah berkempen tapi ada help out kat bilik gerakan sebab masa pilihan raya bulan Mac dulu tu aku diajak oleh ketua cawangan untuk mengambil alih tugas arwah ayah aku dulu. Untuk cari pengalaman aku pun setuju. Seronok jugak aku buat kerja tu, ada jugaklah peluang aku tahu masalah penduduk kampung aku sambil meninjau keadaan politik setempat. Bila ada pilihanraya kecik ni, kira sambung kerja sajalah.

Ni dah bulan puasa banyak aktiviti lain aku nak kena buat. Masa tidur aku pun dah haywire sebenarnya. Minggu ni ada tadarus kat mesjid, aku pun nak join sama.

Jadi nilailah sendiri pasai apa aku tak berblog sejak aku postkan birthday entry hari tu. Memang janji aku manis, tapi, aku ingatkan tak ada lah sangat orang nak kisah dengan blog makcik kat kampung ni.

Tapinya, terimakasih kerana beri aku ” a wake-up call”

Happy 21st Birthday

Dear Kak Long,

Today being your special day, mama would like to dedicate this entry to you. I have not written any birthday entry to any one of your sister this year, but since today is your 21st birthday, I thought I would write something. I hope that I would be able to able to do this to all your sisters when their time come. Itu pun kalau mama masih sihat, tak nyanyuk atau masih ada di sini.

It feels like it was just yesterday that I have given birth to you. Time flew too fast, and now you are already 21 years old. Baba and I had watched you grow from small until now.

I remember your birth because, Baba had hoped for a girl at that time. So it was the one and only time Baba had bought me flowers. Maybe after that he was dissapointed for not having a son. But to me having daughters or sons are the blessing of Allah. I love all of you just equally. You know that Baba loves you all as much as well.

When maktok saw you one the day you were born, she said you were as fair as "kapas". See how fair you were? :-). I thought that you were anaemic when she said that, since you were already 10 days overdue. Now you are still fair but probably not as fair as that.

I also remember that when you were a baby, Baba would look forward to come home from work to play with you. I know he likes children, but it was unexpected confession from him, since when we discussed the subject of having children, he said that he felt that he was not ready to have one. But seing and holding the small feet and hands of a baby had soften him.

As you grow, we see changes in you year to year. You have never been a problematic child. It was easy to raise you, even now you are still the same. Being the eldest, you seem to have "mengalah" more than "mengarah" Your pleasant personality have made it easy for people to be around you. You seems reserved and shy and at times not very confident of your self. You would need someone to accompany you, whenever you wanted to go some where.

But now, I see a more mature you. You have turned from a timid girl into a more confident person. I was not sure that the study course would suit you at first. Although I helped you choose the course, I was worried that it may have suit you, that it may have burdened you. But, I was suprised that you have adapted well, and seem to have liked the course. You have shown that you are able to carry yourself well, where ever you are going. I am not sure what you have planned for your future, we will be here for you to guide you along.

Being 21, to some, is like coming of age, a freedom age. Now you can register yourself as a voter even hehehe. Who knows Permatang Pauh may need to have another by-election in the near future hehehe. What ever your age may be, please don't loose the mischevious glint in your eyes, please know that we love you as our daughter, our first born, till the day we die. There are times that I have regretted not planning better in my life, so I hope that I would be able to guide you and your sisters along as you all grow.

Seing you now, also makes me feel at ease that, if ever anything happened to me and Baba, you would be able to take care of your sisters well.

So Kak Long, on your 21st birthday today, this is mama's prayer for you.

May Allah guides you into the straight path

May you have the blessing of Allah in your future undertakings.

May you always have success in your life

May you be a person that you wanted to be,

A person who is confident to enter the world, meeting the challenges of life with smiles and courage.

We love you Kak Long and have a great 21st Birthday.......

Mama

Nora - Dalam Kenangan

Oh yes, I have been neglecting my blog for a long time.

Thank you for visiting, comments and wishes but, Sorry to all who have been coming here without any new content. I didn't even realise there had been a "war" going on on the comment page. Hehehehe.

Kak Mutiara, thanks for coming to my defense. I appreciate that very much. But again, what happened there may have given me a good idea for a blog entry. Before that, let me just post an entry, a sad one by the way as a tribute to my young niece.

InsyaAllah, I will tell more why I had been busy for the past few months. July and August were the busiest months for me and September is Ramdhan. A full time house wife job is a never ending job, but then again I do have time to satisfy some "addiction". So just wait and see ( I hope iit would be NOT too long...).

Here is a story on Nora.

Although this happened 2 months back, I could still remember it well. I was on my way back from Langkawi, that day. It was a trip with the committee members of USAHAWATI, for a 2 days, 1 night road show trip. On the way back that evening I took a lift from Kak Zaini and her family.

As we were approaching the Kuala Kedah road, I received a call from Abang Lang, a distressed voice on the other end of the phone could only reflect his emotion at that time. I could understand how he felt but unable to console him as much as he needed it. He was telling me the worsening condition of Nora. Her kidney had totally failed and the doctor was contemplating doing a dialysis for her.

Not much later, about an hour later, I received another call from him telling me that Nora is no longer with us. I could not say much except for “Innalillahiwainailaihirajiun…” She passed away at 9.15 pm on 8 July 2008, without regaining consciousness after being in a coma for more than 3 weeks. She was only 26 years old.

I remembered carrying her, and playing with her whenever I was down in Shah Alam, years ago when she was a toddler. Watched her grew up into a boisterous young lady, later a wife and mother. I remembered her wedding, I wrote about it in this blog too. I remembered her stay at our house when she was pregnant with her daughter, the first time after her marriage, and the last time stayed at our house last raya, with her husband and daughter. She was supposed to come and stay again on the 31 May 2008. That date was the last date we see her “alive”.

On 31 May 2008 was the wedding of another one of my nieces here in the north. Abang Lang came back with only Kak Lang and his daughters only. Nora was their eldest daughter. At one time we thought that she might be the only daughter, because Abang Lang has 5 sons after Nora. But Allah has planned that Abang Lang would have 2 more daughters besides Nora. Being the eldest and the only girl in the family for a long time, she was rougher and hard headed than the brothers. I used to remember Kak Lang having such a headache over her.

Abang Lang arrived late on the 30th night. Nora and her sisters were having high fever. So instead of staying at my house, they decided to stay at my younger sister’s place, which is nearer to the vicinity of the kenduri. They never did stay at my house on that occasion because Abang Lang took them to Sungai Petani after the kenduri. Apparently it was Nora’s last visit up north.

She never actually recovered from the high fever. When they went back to Shah Alam her conditioned worsened. She was hospitalised right after. She came home for a short while because she wanted to see her husband, back to Kuantan, where he is working. According to Kak Lang she was so weak and delirous that they had decided to admit her into the hospital. She was conscious for about a week and then she slipped into a coma. Up until the end the doctor could not tell us what was wrong with her. They suspected a form of virus attack, but what virus and where it came from was a mystery until today. The doctor was asking the family if she had been to overseas lately, Nora had never stepped out of the country at all.

I visited her once when she was at the hospital, taking the trip down with my mother who wanted to visit her sick granddaughter. All we could see from outside the room was her stiff body lying there with life support machine wired to her. It was sad to see her in that condition.

Hearing the doctor’s report on her condition and seeing her body system “shutting down” one by one was the saddest thing for the parents and us the families to undergo. After the high fever, the brain was swollen and when they sedated her to the maximum level after which she could not be revived. The doctor decided to sadate her because her white blod cell count was high. If she had survived, she would have been bed-ridden. After that you could see other organs starting to break down. Her kidneys were malfunctioning and the lungs were infected. It was like that until the end.

She left behind a young daughter just about to celebrate her one year old birthday when Nora passed away. Athirah now called her grandmother (Kak Lang) “mak”. Nora had a good and pious husband who was praying for her every step of the way when she was at the hospital. I could not have found a more “sabar” nephew-in-law than he is. It was heart wrenching to see the parents bury their eldest daughter, albeit submitting to Allah's will.

Hanya redha dan sabar sahaja yang dapat mengubat hati yang luluh.

Now, all we have of Nora was her memories. She short-lived us all, her grandmothers (my mother & her maternal grandmother), her parents, uncles and aunties.

Walaupun Allah hanya “meminjamkan” Nora kepada kami hanya untuk 26 tahun namun, kami redha dengan ketentuanNya. Semoga Allah mencucuri Rahmatnya kepada Nora dan menempatkan dia bersama orang-orangyang beriman, InsyaAllah.

This is the last smile from her.