Happy 21st Birthday

Dear Kak Long,

Today being your special day, mama would like to dedicate this entry to you. I have not written any birthday entry to any one of your sister this year, but since today is your 21st birthday, I thought I would write something. I hope that I would be able to able to do this to all your sisters when their time come. Itu pun kalau mama masih sihat, tak nyanyuk atau masih ada di sini.

It feels like it was just yesterday that I have given birth to you. Time flew too fast, and now you are already 21 years old. Baba and I had watched you grow from small until now.

I remember your birth because, Baba had hoped for a girl at that time. So it was the one and only time Baba had bought me flowers. Maybe after that he was dissapointed for not having a son. But to me having daughters or sons are the blessing of Allah. I love all of you just equally. You know that Baba loves you all as much as well.

When maktok saw you one the day you were born, she said you were as fair as "kapas". See how fair you were? :-). I thought that you were anaemic when she said that, since you were already 10 days overdue. Now you are still fair but probably not as fair as that.

I also remember that when you were a baby, Baba would look forward to come home from work to play with you. I know he likes children, but it was unexpected confession from him, since when we discussed the subject of having children, he said that he felt that he was not ready to have one. But seing and holding the small feet and hands of a baby had soften him.

As you grow, we see changes in you year to year. You have never been a problematic child. It was easy to raise you, even now you are still the same. Being the eldest, you seem to have "mengalah" more than "mengarah" Your pleasant personality have made it easy for people to be around you. You seems reserved and shy and at times not very confident of your self. You would need someone to accompany you, whenever you wanted to go some where.

But now, I see a more mature you. You have turned from a timid girl into a more confident person. I was not sure that the study course would suit you at first. Although I helped you choose the course, I was worried that it may have suit you, that it may have burdened you. But, I was suprised that you have adapted well, and seem to have liked the course. You have shown that you are able to carry yourself well, where ever you are going. I am not sure what you have planned for your future, we will be here for you to guide you along.

Being 21, to some, is like coming of age, a freedom age. Now you can register yourself as a voter even hehehe. Who knows Permatang Pauh may need to have another by-election in the near future hehehe. What ever your age may be, please don't loose the mischevious glint in your eyes, please know that we love you as our daughter, our first born, till the day we die. There are times that I have regretted not planning better in my life, so I hope that I would be able to guide you and your sisters along as you all grow.

Seing you now, also makes me feel at ease that, if ever anything happened to me and Baba, you would be able to take care of your sisters well.

So Kak Long, on your 21st birthday today, this is mama's prayer for you.

May Allah guides you into the straight path

May you have the blessing of Allah in your future undertakings.

May you always have success in your life

May you be a person that you wanted to be,

A person who is confident to enter the world, meeting the challenges of life with smiles and courage.

We love you Kak Long and have a great 21st Birthday.......

Mama