The Begining or the End ?

Actually I do not know how to write this entry. I have been thinking about writing it down, but I do not want to be mistaken that I am whining about my current situation. Because for sure, I am not in the worst case scenario. I am a lot luckier than many of the people around the world. But then the emotional impact of what is about to happen to me and my colleagues, can't be hidden. I feel it not just for me but to most of my subbordinates. I am not asking to be pitied, I not asking to be judged, I am writing this just to let off steam and in doing so maybe I would feel better and not remorseful and full of self pity. I have no regrets, because I believe in takdir, qada and qadar from Allah. The rezeki HE bestows upon me have been plentiful and I am forever trying to count my blessing.

I have just completed a list of people who would be redundant and who would in high probability be integrated into a new company. I am one of those in the redundant list. I have made myself redundant and write myself off the company list of employees. Stupid me? Maybe, but, there is no way that I could protect myself and for sure I think this is the best action I could have taken. But then again, if my rezeki is still within this company I may be asked to stay. This is a splinter of hope there.

At the end of last year, we were told that the corporate company in the head office is merging with another company. As per the Malaysian operation is a Joint Venture, the proper integration could not happened until the local shareholders agree to the integration. We waited in apprehension for the last 9 months. Suddently, at the beginning of this month a directive had been given on the integration timelines. That was why I was suddently been bogged down with lots of meeting and work. The first dateline is at the end of this month. All the managers were asked to prepare a list of names for the redundancy package. The new company wanted to see how many they would need to offer employment. Many things are still unsure, but only a portion of the operation under my care would be retained in the factory. So in the end there would be very few people left in a huge factory space. The new company's set up is different from our set-up so much so that I have to break up my operations to suit the new organisation.

With the integration, eventually the current company will ceast to exist. Those who are redudant would be given a seperation package. Those who are offered employement in the new company will not be given the package. But they will not loose their years of services when they entered the new company with a new terms and conditions. But the seniority is maintained. Although I have put myself in the redundancy list, it is still subject to approval, as always many company is not really willing to pay off the senior managers unless they have too.

The package won't make me an instant millonaire. With still debts to pay, I may need to plan really hard how to continue earning a living. For sure I can't retire and become a full time housewife just yet. Although I wish I could. There will be new adventure for me if things turn out that way for me. I have thought about doing a small business but then again what do I know about starting a business? Almost nil. It is not an easy thing to do. A lot of things to learn, a lot of things to be considered. When you are working, the time you spent at the office are mostly structured. But when you do your own business, you need to work harder to be successful or at least to break even. It would be a new paradigm for me where it would mean that I would have to start from the very basic. Although time may be your own, but sometimes may not agree with the time that you want to spend with your family etc. You may even have to work week-end.

Emotionally, it was nerve wrecking for me. It is hard for me to make decisions for me as well for my other staffs. It is dificult for me to decide on the livelihood of other people. There are factors to consider, most of them are scared that they will loose the chance for compensation if they accept the employment with the new company. They are scared that some of the benefit would also be lost once they agree to be integrated. Being one of the management teams, I have to think both ways, trying to balance. The stress was so high yesterday, that I almost broke down and cry as I was driving back home. I spent my night praying and doa for Allah to give me the peace of mind today to complete the first task. After this it would be easier, I hope.

I think I will end my ramblings here. I have just scrap-off the surface on this issue. With Ramadhan is looming near, I would like to wish every Muslim readers/bloggers

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Al-Mubarak.

I hope this Ramadhan would bring a new light for a new and brighter begining to all of us.

Assalamualaikum.