September 22, 2006

The Begining or the End ?

Actually I do not know how to write this entry. I have been thinking about writing it down, but I do not want to be mistaken that I am whining about my current situation. Because for sure, I am not in the worst case scenario. I am a lot luckier than many of the people around the world. But then the emotional impact of what is about to happen to me and my colleagues, can't be hidden. I feel it not just for me but to most of my subbordinates. I am not asking to be pitied, I not asking to be judged, I am writing this just to let off steam and in doing so maybe I would feel better and not remorseful and full of self pity. I have no regrets, because I believe in takdir, qada and qadar from Allah. The rezeki HE bestows upon me have been plentiful and I am forever trying to count my blessing.
I have just completed a list of people who would be redundant and who would in high probability be integrated into a new company. I am one of those in the redundant list. I have made myself redundant and write myself off the company list of employees. Stupid me? Maybe, but, there is no way that I could protect myself and for sure I think this is the best action I could have taken. But then again, if my rezeki is still within this company I may be asked to stay. This is a splinter of hope there.
At the end of last year, we were told that the corporate company in the head office is merging with another company. As per the Malaysian operation is a Joint Venture, the proper integration could not happened until the local shareholders agree to the integration. We waited in apprehension for the last 9 months. Suddently, at the beginning of this month a directive had been given on the integration timelines. That was why I was suddently been bogged down with lots of meeting and work. The first dateline is at the end of this month. All the managers were asked to prepare a list of names for the redundancy package. The new company wanted to see how many they would need to offer employment. Many things are still unsure, but only a portion of the operation under my care would be retained in the factory. So in the end there would be very few people left in a huge factory space. The new company's set up is different from our set-up so much so that I have to break up my operations to suit the new organisation.
With the integration, eventually the current company will ceast to exist. Those who are redudant would be given a seperation package. Those who are offered employement in the new company will not be given the package. But they will not loose their years of services when they entered the new company with a new terms and conditions. But the seniority is maintained. Although I have put myself in the redundancy list, it is still subject to approval, as always many company is not really willing to pay off the senior managers unless they have too.
The package won't make me an instant millonaire. With still debts to pay, I may need to plan really hard how to continue earning a living. For sure I can't retire and become a full time housewife just yet. Although I wish I could. There will be new adventure for me if things turn out that way for me. I have thought about doing a small business but then again what do I know about starting a business? Almost nil. It is not an easy thing to do. A lot of things to learn, a lot of things to be considered. When you are working, the time you spent at the office are mostly structured. But when you do your own business, you need to work harder to be successful or at least to break even. It would be a new paradigm for me where it would mean that I would have to start from the very basic. Although time may be your own, but sometimes may not agree with the time that you want to spend with your family etc. You may even have to work week-end.
Emotionally, it was nerve wrecking for me. It is hard for me to make decisions for me as well for my other staffs. It is dificult for me to decide on the livelihood of other people. There are factors to consider, most of them are scared that they will loose the chance for compensation if they accept the employment with the new company. They are scared that some of the benefit would also be lost once they agree to be integrated. Being one of the management teams, I have to think both ways, trying to balance. The stress was so high yesterday, that I almost broke down and cry as I was driving back home. I spent my night praying and doa for Allah to give me the peace of mind today to complete the first task. After this it would be easier, I hope.
I think I will end my ramblings here. I have just scrap-off the surface on this issue. With Ramadhan is looming near, I would like to wish every Muslim readers/bloggers
Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Al-Mubarak.
I hope this Ramadhan would bring a new light for a new and brighter begining to all of us.


Pak Idrus said...

Life is like that, it is a journey, so if they want you to leave, leave with a smile. Take the package and put it in an ASB account. Do not touch your EPF, the EPF is for your retirement, remember that. The ASB Account would give you some 9% to 10% benefit a year. You can use this as your income. If you are above forty something, it would not be easy to seek new employment. Why not be a full time homemaker without the maid. This way it would cut cost..Well life is like that. cross the bridge first. Do not lament but look forward with pride and enjoy life. take care.

Count Byron said...

Cek... apa apa juga yang akan Cek lalui, nana doakan agar ianya adalah yang terbaik untuk Cek.
Selamat menyambut bulan ramadhan yang mulia.
Cek.. ni nana nak habaq.. Nana dah jadi atok. Jadi di utara.. atok tu di teriak apa ya?

mama irma said...

Don't worry, things happen for a reason, and believe that there will be a hikmah behind every event happening in our lives.....

Ordinary Superhero said...

Dearest Aunty N,

Salam Ramadan. Semoga kedatangan Ramadhan akan memberi lebih kekuatan untuk menghadapi apa jua cabaran dan dugaan hidup selepas ini.

Agree with Pak Idrus. It is ok to toy with ideas of what to do if the worst case scenario happens, but at the same time, don't worry so much. Tuhan tentu sekali Maha Mendengar segala doa, rintih dan rayu hambaNya.

Anonymous said...

Mohonlah kepada Allah untuk mendapatlan apa yang terbaik untuk keluargamu, duniamu, agamamu dan akhiratmu.

Selamat menjalani ibadah di bulan mulia.

Anonymous said...

I know it is tough..I had weather three of them..since 1985..Pak Idrus had writen up what I believe.Theres is lots of financial wastage in our life, as a senior manager there should be no problem for you to post mortem you family life, expenditure, the needs and the luxury part of it..Those lady friends of mine who had choosen to accept the VSS package and became a house wife do mention to me that they should have done it earlier..they are enjoying a better quality family life. The decision is yours, to start a business if you are above 40ish is real tough life.What ever it is depended on what do you want in this life..

Kak Teh said...

N, I had been in this position before. You are lucky in a sense that u knew beforehand what is going to happen. I woke up one morning to read about the closure of my departments and a few others, in the Financial Times. Itwas like a nightmare and when I went to work, seven top brass in black suits were there to sort of comfort me! It was ironic because I was made 'permanent staff' just a year before. So, how permanent is permanent? Kita berserah and it has been sixteen years and Alhamdulillah I have grown up, matured, lots of ups and down but my God klots of life's experience to make my life all the richer - though not in the sense of pounds and pence. So, chin up!

aNIe said...

Kak N...SELAMAT MENYAMBUT RAMADHAN AL-MUBARAK... moga ibadah kita bertambah dibulan mulia ini....

Nong said...

Dear N, hope everything will work out good for you, which ever ways...

Selamat menyambut Ramadhan al-Mubarak dan selamat mengerjakan ibadah puasa. Moga kita berada dalam kerahmatan dan keampunan Allah SWT...

AuntyN said...

Pak Idrus : Terimakasih. Advice yang sangat berguna tu.

Nana Count : Congratulations for the new title Datuk Count Byron :-). Sini depa panggei macam-macam. Tok ayah, tok wan pun boleh.

mama irma : For sure there is a hikmah. I am fine really. Thanks anyway.

OSH " Thank you, risau sikit saja ni :-) Rezeki ada di mana-mana kan?

from kl : Thanks for the doa. Semoga Allah memnerkati you and familiy jugak.

En Ari : Terimakasih. Kita tengok apa-apa option yang elok InsyaAllah everything will be OK.

Kak Teh : Yes, I know I am so much luckier than you. You have been such a grat support for the past 1 year. Tak ternilai budi kak teh pada saya ni.

Lady : Selamat Berpuasa jugak

Nong : Sama-sama. InsyaAllah berkat doa semua.

atiza said...

la nih bulan puasa..lots of biz opportunities..
(i) berniaga makanan (you've got talent in those 'lauk kampung' zone..could give those a try..pi scout bebudak uni/college..sometimes depa cater instead of beratur beli food;
ii)jual kuih raya..same concept..go the 'kampung style'
iii) hamper raya..lots of companies opted to give their muslim clients raya hamper nowadays..

those are some short term measures..

long term, you could become a consultant..freelance..

Mama Rock said...

oh auntyn, i feel for strong, insyaAllah things will turn out alright for you and the other employees. selamat menyambut ramadhan.

MA said...

Kak N :

As you know, I have been through all that. And like what Kak Teh said, at least you have time and the knowledge of what to expect.

Apart from being demoralised, one of the most likely thing to happen is the feelings of worthlessness, especially after we have attained such a position in a company and enjoy many perks - suddenly to lose all that, be prepared for that, the loss of self-esteem.

But, always look for the HIKMAH. It may not be apparent now, but insya Allah - after all the confusion and sad period, you will be able to see them.

When one door closes on you, the other one opens. Do not look at the closed door for too long, lest you will miss the ones being opened for you.

It is NORMAL to be confused and sad.

Look at the brighter side - at least you have a supportive working husband while I had NONE.

And I survived.

So will you.

Ely said...

auntyN, sorry to hear about the 'crisis' that you are going through. memang stess jugak akau fikirkan nih suma.

whatever that u r going thru, insyaAllah, u will go thru it with a strong mind.


AuntyN said...

atiza " terimakasih. Banyaknya cadangan tu. Semuanya best.

mamarock : No worry there, I am strong enough to get thru this.

MA : It's so true. I have a husband to fall back to. You and Kak Teh have been a really great friend for the past 1 year. And this is not the first time I had to go thru this. I WILL be fine. InsyaAllah.

ely : It is one phase of life we all have to go thru. sooner or later I will have to stop work too. It just come sooner that's all. Hugs to you too.

Bergen said...

Go into business. You'd find something you like. Nothing like the satisfaction of running your own business.

AuntyN said...

bergen : Thanks, I have given it a lot of thoughts actually. I will try to write my planning in the next entry InsyaAllah.

Jo Kontan said...

Saya pun sudah merasa sekali tahun 1999/2000. Masa tuu memang bercelaru fikiran. Kelam Kabut, in the real sense of it.

Bila dipikirkan balik the things that I lost most, masa tuulah, macam MA cakapla, the loss of self-esteem

Tapi syukor alhamdulillah, 2 weeks after that, I managed to find out something else.

Planning is just like shopping. It's fun, with a Capital F.

Ewok said...

*BIG HUGS* Now I know why you need a hug too.

Insyaallah with your wisdom and knowledge, you'll be fine.

AuntyN said...

Tj : Thanks for all what you have said. I will plan with lots of FUN. :-)

ewok : BIG HUGS back to you. InsyaAllah, I will be fine. Boleh AN belajar juai ice-cream ka? :-)

Penglipur Lara said...

Auntyn, I wish you all the best!