Today 28th December 2005, is our (hubby and I) 20th wedding annivessary. I am not able to write anything yet as I am in KL office for the day for a very important meeting. Will write ASAP.
We came out from the house at 4.30 am this morning, to drive to KL office for my meeting as well as to send Kak Long back to campus. The rush was to make sure we arrived before 9.00 am which is the time for Kak Long’s first class today. I intentionally asked hubby to accompany me to KL for this trip because of the annivessary. Saja-saja nak berdua-duan dengan dia tu. Since Kak Long went home for the Christmas holiday and knowing that we were coming to KL then she stayed on until today.
After we sent her to campus, on the way to my KL Office I just casually ask hubby.
Me : " Do you remember that today is our anniversary? "
Hubby : (Much to my surprised). " Ingat, tapi hari ni berapa haribulan, 28 kan? Bukan semalam ka? "
Me : " La, hari ni lah. "
Hubby : " Yang ke berapa dah? "
Me : " 20 dah"
See, that is my hubby, he forgets all the important dates in our lives. The only date he remembers is his own birthday, :-), which he will remind me a few days before. Every year when he has to fill in the income tax form, he will call me to ask for the girls birthdates. I will always asked him back, whether he remembers mine. He said he did, but on the actual day he "forgets".
That is typical of him, I have long given up the sulking or merajuk for all these. So how do you expect him to surprise me with something romantic for to tonight? I will be really, REALLY surprise if he does. The presents that he will buy me would be items of clothing. The first and the probably the last time he bought me flowers was the day I gave birth to Kak Long.
Don’t get me wrong, I love him very much. Because as a husband, he is a good husband. As an individual he is a nice person. Being a perfectionist, he keeps me in line with my a lot of things. My cloth’s sense and style, the way I walk and talk etc. Leaving things to me I will sure be very "selekeh" He is my biggest critics in a lot of things. But at the same time he encourages me in things that he knows I am good at. In our relationship we are GOOD friends as well as we are lovers.
My parents’ marriage was not a very good one. I told my husband that I would not want our marriage to be like theirs. And I will continue working after we were married. Because my parents will expect it of me after they had paid for my education. On his side of the family, the week of our wedding, the family was shocked of the news of the brother-in-law’s lies to his eldest sister (Kak Maz). The late BIL had been having a second wife for 10 years before Kak Maz discovered she had a madu. So the lie had hurt the whole family badly, but it was a blessing in disguise for me.
The first year of marriage for me was a trial one, I had known hubby for 8 years before we got the married. I was of the idea that my money is mine, but his money is for sharing. But in the end I come to term that we have to share what we earn for the sake of the family. In marriage for me, it is more than just sex, it is a lot more. It is a relationship, a lot of giving and taking on both sides. It is a commitment by both parties to make the marriage work. Once both had given that commitment ang continue to stick to that commitment then the marriage works. Love can evaporates like any other emotions, there are times that we were happy and there are times that hates each others’ guts but at the end of the day we are still committed to the solemn lafaz nikah. We are not a perfect couple, but on the whole I would say, Alhamdullilah, so far Allah has blessed me with a good marriage. I hope it will last until we both passed on to the next world.