September 30, 2005

The Cook and The Counsellor

Dah heboh se dunia dah cerita Makcik Bloggers -The Movie tu. Mesti gempaq habis tu sebab scene-scene kat filem tu akan meliputi seluruh dunia tu. Mana taknya ada Makcik Blur di London, Makcik Pantai di Oklahoma, Makcik rawks kat US tu, Makcik_san kat Jepun, dan tak ketinggalan Makcik2 kat Malaysia ni. Supporting roles dari makcik2, anak2 cik dan pakcik2 pun dari seluruh dunia jugak tu. Lepas tu watak gengster to producer dia tu nak save duit, dia sendiri nak pegang watak tu. Kuncu dia pun rasanya yang dah ada pengalaman jadi mat rempit so tak payah training nak jadi stuntman lagi. Meriah sungguh sambutan filem yang belum lagi menjadi ni. Tu baru promosi poster, kalau dah jadi rasanya meletup jadi box-office lah no? Lihatlah dunia betapa "unconscious"nya makcik2 ni kan!!! Sakit peruk, dok gelak seminggu ni.

But again, it is all for fun. Jangan pulak nanti terlebih-terlebih dah terasa hati pulak antara satu sama lain. Memang selama berblogging ni dan juga kenal dengan blogger2 yang lain terutama gang makcik2 ni hidup aku lebih ceria, kami gelak sama2, nangis belum lagi, tapi kalau ada sapa2 yang mintak nasihat akan kami berikan secara ikhlas dan terbuka. So far, rasa aku belum lagi ada yang terasa hati di antara kami. InsyaAllah, friendship between us akan bloom in a positive way. Kami pun rasa macam kami ni dari generasi yang mature sikit (banyak pun ada jugak), so we should set good example for people to follow. Dalam kesibukan harian dengan tugas masing2, family tetap kami jaga, blogging jugak, family must still come first, right makciks?.

Tengok tu jauh pulak terpesong tu.......
Yang nak diceritakan tu tak sampai lagi...
Ni nak cerita ni....

Hari Rabu lepas exam hubby balik rumah. Aku selalu memanglah lambat. Hubby kata ada 2 orang kawan Angah kat rumah dah lama diorang tu datang. Angah keluar masa tu. Hubby ni jenis yang suka layan tetamu, sama ada yang muda atau yang tua, asal saja ada yang datang dia dah rasa macam tamu dah. Dia bukan suruh bibik bancuhkan air, dia yang sendiri buat. Masa balik tu dia kata dia dah goreng maggi. Aku ingat dia goreng untuk dia makan. Aku pun tak tanya dia dah makan belum main assume saja dia dah makan yang dia masak tu. Jadi, bila Angah dah balik, aku suruhlah angah sendukkan dan jamu kawan2 dia. Aku pun rasalah sedikit maggi yang hubby goreng tu. Sedap jugaklah. Aku dah makan jugak laksa yang juga di beli oleh hubby petang tu.

Bila dah habis, Syia yang balik dari kelas fardhu ain dah macam merajuk sebab tak sempat nak makan maggi yang baba masak. Muncung jugak lah dia sebab dia memang suka maggi. Lepas tu baru aku tahu yang hubby tak makan pun maggi yang dia goreng tu hehehe. Dia makan laksa jugaklah sebab maggi dah habis....

Dah dengar si Syia tak sempat makan maggi tu, semalam (khamis) dia goreng lagi maggi. Ni kes kembang kena puji lah kut tu, hehehe. Aku pun semalam balik awal, ambik half day leave sebab nak clear installment bank-bank tu. Dah habis semua aku balik rumah, tidor lah pulak. Bangun petang had hubby cakap dia ada goreng maggi untuk Syia. Sayang dia kat anak2 dia ni. Dia memang macam tu. Kali ni aku tengok bermacam ramuan dia masukkan, taugeh, sayur, kacang tanah, telur, Masyaallah. Sedap lah jugak, tapi tak sesedap yang kemarin tu. Jadi dapatlah Syia makan maggi yang hubby goreng tu, dah tak muncung dah.

Dah maghrib adik aku S datang rumah. Awal pagi semalam pun dia dok ngadu kat aku lagi. Dari dulu dah aku cakap dengan dia kes dia tak kan selesai sampai mati kalau salah sorang tak ambik drastic action. She is waiting in hope that the husband will change. However, when she prayed Istikharah, the indication is that her husband has no more love for her. Kata dia, dia mimpi berkali2 selepas solat tu yang dia pegang ayam dan ayam tu mati. Pak Ya kata kalau mimpi binatang memang petanda yang tak elok.

My hubby and I, as well as my abang long of the opinion that the husband is NEVER going to change. He is not takingg any action to resolve because it is to his advantage if he just let the marriage dwiddle just like that. If he divorces her, by taking the first step, it is him people will blame, he will be put to shame. But if it is my sister who walk out of the marriage then, he can say that it is clearly shown that she is "nusyus" or derhaka. Like I said to my sister, he should realise that since he no longer feel the love for her, he should let her go, and move on. Both of them can now start a new life. But, by the look of it no way he is ever going to take the first move. We have advised my sister, if she is not prepared to make the first move, she just need to bear with staying in the same house with him. Seing his face day in day out. Hubby clearly told her, she has to decide what she wants to do. He will NOT change. I feel hopeless because I can only listen and advise, I cannot act on her behalf. She has to decide for herself.

I am sorry for a gloomy ending....

I hope ALL of you will have a GOOD week-end, anyway...

21 comments:

CikNi said...

auntyN, kadang2 memang kena ada happy ending tapi ending tu mungkin jugak akan jadi begining to a new, better life

AdieJin said...

Nak sambung kata kata cikni yang bernas tu. Betul. In life the ending wheter sad or happy is the beginning of something new. I've gone through 3 marriages, 2 divorces and a death. It was hell when all three ended, tapi then, there begins a new life, a total change of things/people/places yang present us a new colour and the colour depends on how we paint it. Kalau kita nak gelapkan calour tu, maka gelaplah suasana. Kalu diterangkan, maka cerialah dunia di keliling kita. Kepada adik AuntyN, her happiness should come first over anything else. Life is too short so decide on the option that she feels is best for her, take action and face the music.

Jin Tua

AuntyN said...

CikNi and Jin : Thanks for the advise. Unfortunately, she won't listen.

Jin : I am sorry about your lost.

anggerik merah said...

Echo cikni & jin tu. Susah gak kalau adik auntyn cannot accept the fact and make a choice for herself. If she decided to suffer then it is really her choice. Just wonder, how old is she?

MA said...

Kak N : I always pegang kata-kata :- " Tuhan tidak akan mengubah nasib sesuatu bangsa itu melainkan dia merubah nasibnya sendiri "

We are in charge of our own destiny.

I echo Jin's words .Kalau kita nak miserable, miserable lah kita. Kalau kita nak kebahagiaan - itu semua di tangan kita.

Life is all about choices - and each of us has that.

Hopefully, she will see that soon.

EM&EM said...

AuntyN

I hope your sister will find the happiness that she is searching for.

Selamat Berpuasa untuk AuntyN & family.

auntylela said...

wow AN! People who have gone thro' roller-coaster emotionally-strained life are the strongest among us.

Anyway, I am being promoted as one of the makciks as well...this is an undeserved honour!

JoKontan said...

AuntyN,

Mebbe can put up in AuntyN's Recipe, Uncle Z's Maggi Goreng Version 2, yang ada taruk kacang tanah tuu.

Bunyi nyer macam sedap jeer..

AuntyN said...

MA : Walaupun dia my sis tahu that for a fact, dia tak pernah berhenti berharap. Itu yang susah tu.

EM : Thanks, Selamat berpuasa to you and family jugak. Cabaran lebih di negeri orang ni kan?

Lela : Betul tu.
Dah makcik kena lah di iktiraf sebagai makcik...

Tj : Kena tanya Uncle Z for the resipi lah kalau gitu, hehehe. Rasanya dia main campak aje tu apa2 yang dia rasa nak bubuh tu.

Empty Heart said...

I know the feeling auntyN ... bout taking the first step ... though my struggle may not be as long as ur sis, but I know exactly what its like ...

Yes, my hub haf even said he will never let me go ... if I wanted to leave, then I have to 'settle' it ....
senang kan for men ... like u say, then the blame goes to the female for nusyuz or derhaka ... lagi tak bau syurga ...

In terms of making a decision, sometimes it isn't as easy as to choose the one that makes u happy. Coz clearly, there aint much happiness in separation either. But i suppose, it is a fresh start to stagnant waters ...

As for me, I am tryin to work things out with my other-half ...but I haf made clear borders, should he ever cross the line again, then there will be no more talk and compromise ...
I haf decided I don't want to take crap in life over and over again. Mistakes yes, we all do it .. so for my hub, if it was pure mistake, then it should'nt ever be repeated ..

Well ..only time can tell for me ..
At the moment, the baby takes my agenda ..

Maybe I can write to ur sis, that is only if she wants ..not that I know much of any answers in life ... but do send my luv and regards to her ..

AuntyN said...

EH : Thanks so much. So far she doesn't know I blog about this. Will tell her the advice anyway. At least your hubby is clear that he doesn't want to let you go. In this case he just doesn't do anything, not speaking, not acting, so that's a bit too irritating foe me and my family actually.

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This month… Secrets of a Happy Marriage Revealed!

Here’s some of the topics…

How to become tolerant of your spouse’s behaviors.
The importance of communication in a relationship.
The meaning of realistic expectations.

Visit my blog http://www.longislandguide.com/blog to download you free book.

And for other information we have so many different topics including Long Island Florist at our site.

Always the best,
Lonny

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