The "Mother" In Me

Last night, Syia wished me Happy Mother's day and gave me a kiss on both cheek. I didn't expect her to remember but she did. Maybe it was the advertisement on the TV that reminded her. Whatever, I was touched by the gesture

Motherhood or to be more specific parenthood to me is not something that I learnt from school or text books or in MBA courses. Of course there are books, magazines and articles on parenthood, but every child is unique and experiencing the motherhood is something that every woman wants to treasure. The trials and tribulation of one mother is different from the other. Some are smooth sailing, everything seems perfect, but some are not. Only Allah knows who fit to be tried harder than the others.

Before I have children of my own, I was one of those who couldn't really be bothered with kids. Some ladies just love kids so much that they would be willing to take care and be a mother to other people's children. I wasn't really like that. I can hold babies, but if the baby wasn't mine, I wouldn't want to take care of him/her. I have this kind of attitude, he/she is yours so don't bother me with it.

I have been known to my daughter's friends as a fierce mom. They dared not come to my house because they were scared of me. Even if I brought my nieces, nephews and daughters (when they were younger) to the supermarket, I would be warning them that whoever got themselves lost (running around within the supermarket aisles) I would not be searching for them. They have to find their way home by themselves!!. Of course, I didn't mean it but it was enough to get the message across to them to behave and to be within the earshot.

I am not a perfect mother, but my daughters are so far Alhamdullilah are good daughters. They were not difficult to raise and they are not difficult adolescents (sp?). I tried my best and still trying to educate them to be a useful person, berakhlak and solehah. I am still trying and learning from the environment surrounding us. Time is different now, not like when I was a kid myself. I find myself, just cannot simply be a mother to my daughters, I have to be their friend too. I have to appreciate things that they like and be tolerant to certain things that they do. Of course, there shouldn't be total freedom to them. They know why they are not given the total freedom to do things they want to do. Alhamdulillah so far so good. I enjoy their company and they don't feel uneasy in my company.

Having said all that, I cannot tolerate the incidences of babies being abandoned by their mothers. Just because they were born out of wedlock. I can't bear the thoughts of innocent babies being dumped into the dustbins, or rubbish dumps or even a deserted stalls. This is clearly the case of "malu tak bertempat" Have they no shame (malu) to Allah when you committed the zina?. But when they carry the baby full term, after it was born they have the heart to abandon it. Why? Because you are shameful (malu) to raise an anak luar nikah. Please!!!!. Who are they feeling "malu" to? Did they ever thought of the soceity's scorn on their behaviour when they succumbed themselves to the sexual pleasures? Why then feel ashame of the consequences, right? What would they feel if their mothers had abandoned them long time ago? Just think forward. At least have some decency and respect to the young lives. They are innocent lives (although the soceity can be very cruel to them when they grow up). At least go to the center for unwed mothers and give your child there for adoption. I am not condoning the wrong act. Nauzubillah!!! Of course prevention is better than cure, but, we should also be a cure or a solution when there is a problem.

Anyway, to all the mothers out there,

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY