October 18, 2005

Kak long Is At Home

Bila aku cerita pasal internet connection kat rumah tu rosak, dia macam berjangkit pulak kat ofis ni. Elok-elok aku dok baca komen kat blog, dok reply komen, tau-tau dah down pulak. Hampir setengah hari aku melengung dok try nak connect to internet tak boleh jugak. Dah lah kat rumah tak boleh kat ofis pun down jugak....

Harap-harap lepas ni semua OK lah.

Enough of that...

Yes, Kak Long is at home. She came back fetched by her father early Sunday morning first week of Ramadhan, just before sahur time. Selim melim anak dara aku ni. She was quite plump when we sent her to college, but now due to the pressure of study, she loose some weight. We teased her often that after 5 weeks of holiday she will be back to her previous weight. She said she will have to go back to college to stay slim.

Syia, my youngest daughter misses her Kak Long a lot while Kak Long is in college. Often Syia would come into my room and asked whether Kak Long was online, she wanted to chat with her on the YM. Eversince Kak Long arrived Syia has been quite inseperable with her. They bathe together, she would be sleeping on her lap in between the terawih prayers etc. In fact all the four of them would be in the same room doing something together since her arrival. I am so happy to see all of them are close buddies and not just sisters. Even Angah who has been rather distance from the other siblings seems to get on pretty well with Kak Long. Angah is more outgoing than the other sisters, she has her friends who she hang out with lots more time than her own sisters. But after Kak Long entered college Angah seems to want to get closer to her elder sister now.

One of my YM buddies (one the makciks) asked be recently whether Kak Long has a boyfriend. I said not that I know of. She asked again how would I react if she finds a boyfriend right now. I said I actually has no idea, but hubby and I have been telling Kak Long to tell us if she has a boyfriend. I would think that I would readily accept it if the friendship would not jeopardise her studies. I myself used to have a boyfriend already at her age, except that the relationship didn't end up in marriage.

As for Kak Long, I don't expect her not to have a boyfriend, I think sooner or later she will find some who she likes more than others, who likes her more than other girls. I can't stop that, can I? The question is, is she too young to be having a serious relationship? Is she mature enough to handle affection and perhaps love? Is she able to handle heartbreak if it happened? So far this daughter of mine seems so "selamba" in her actions.

I don't know the answer right now. I am not at all that particular how the boy or man would be. Magistrate, lawyer or what ever, at this point is not important. Handsome or not is also not important, tapi kenalah ada rupa sikit kan? Kata orang sedap mata memandang, ye tak? Anyway beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Race or creed pun tak important. Kalau dulu mak aku takut aku further studied kat overseas, takut aku bawak balik matsaleh husband, for me it is OK if she wants to marry outside our race. As long as the man is a practicing Muslim.

At this moment kalau ada sesiapa yang nak tackle Kak Long tu aku nak jugak lah risek-risek sikit. Ni pun kalau yang dah nampak macam serius lah kan. Bukan apa, cuma nak kenal mak bapak, nak jadikan besan dan menantu sebagai kawan dan saudara. Nak make sure he is serious about my daughter, not just playing around. We surely don't want what happened to my sis to happen to any of my girls. Nauzubillah...

Whoever is her choice, we as parents wants the best for her, wants her to find happiness. I do hope that it does not happen TOO soon, I am just enjoying my daughter to be loosing her to someone else. When that happens I hope I will be gaining a son and not loosing a daughter. She still many years ahead of her life, she still need lots of training in the kitchen, and she still need to live and enjoy LIFE before she is saddled to marriage and parenthood. I hope she has that chance.

I know so many of you have children who are about the same age as Kak Long. So, is 18 the right age for a girl to be dating? Or should we allow our children to date at this young age? What is the right age to start dating anyway? Do I sound like I am too open (considering I am staying in a kampung hehehe) Come tell me about it.

For those who are still unmarried, maybe you can share your experience, at what age did you start dating. It would surely be interesting to know.......hehehe

48 comments:

anggerik merah said...

AuntyN,

When I read yr entry about kak long and when the right time to have boyfriend etc..teringat kat my emak...she felt as if she was losing me too soon because I got married quite early age. On the day of my angkat nikah event she came in the room and I can see her sad face. One day I will write about it..

jem said...

mak saya dah berkenan dulu kat calon menantu dia sebelum saya sendiri berkenan. ni nak kira macam mana?

Audra said...

Cinta monyet sekolah menengah
1. 14 tahun, schoolmate but formerly my classmate masa kindergarten, tapi tak jadi sebab tak kuasa nak berebut dia dengan other girl
2. 15 tahun - dapat surat cinta pertama dari budak class sebelah, tapi sampai je trial SRP, break terus sebab nak focus on study

Campus life
1. 18 tahun - start rapat dengan bekas jiran and jugak budak sekolah lelaki kat Seremban tapi jumpa balik kat KL, budak tu dah approach nak jadikan girlfriend tapi masa tu saya freaked out.. so we stayed as good friends until at one point we lost contact
2. 20 tahun - bercinta dengan coursemate lepas 2 tahun kamcing - this one lama sikit sampai dah lepas grad and dah start keje and ada plan nak menikah, tapi last last tak jadi sebab adik angkat dia masuk daun..

Working
Met one guy in 1999 that really caught my attention right from the first time I laid my eyes on him. We became good friends since there are lots of things in common, spent most of the time together, and three years into friendship, he told me directly, takde bahasa bunga bunga, saying that he liked me more than a friend and he would like to continue the relationship in the next level. Memang masa tu terkejut siput sampai nak tersembur tomyam! Took me 2 years to finally accept him as someone special and potentially could be my husband and soulmate, and I am indeed happy with my decision ;) Semoga termakbul my prayer and if indeed he becomes my husband and soulmate one day, I hope it lasts forever even in afterlife. ;)

AuntyN said...

Anggerik :lease write. It would be nice to know how your mom's felt.

jem : bagus lah tu, restu ibu tu, salah satu criteria penting dalam rumahtangga tu,:-)

Audra : MasyaAllah, boleh buat meme ni, sure ramai yang ada interesting experience macam Audra ni kan? :-)

Ely said...

yang dah kawin tak boleh komen ker? hehehehehe

hai, bab dating nih. dah start umur 12, budak2 dah tgk2 dan pandang2. suami kata kalau dorang nak dating at age 14, tak boleh, group outing boleh. itu pun kena pergi dihantar dan diambil. kalau dah 18 tuh, entah eh, mungkin ok kot? tapi mesti ada curfew...sebelum pukul 5pm? thats how my parents told me, nak keluar ok...back by 5pm or habis kaki berbilai!

AdieJin said...

APA ibu niiii..!!!!!..citer pasal Kak Long kat sumer orang. Ajin ( nama manja Adiejin kekeke ) kan dah booking Kak Long.Apa Ibu janji tak betul nih...

auntylela said...

Me, that was me yang tanya, betul tak?

Audra said...

Nama manja Ajin???? Hahahahahahhaahah. (gelak guling guling stail YM). Adeh.. macam ada benda missing jek... heheeheheh

Kak N,

Ala... common experience tu... kalau kena yang spesis popular kat sekolah, lagi la.. kena buat 10 entries kot... heheheheheh...

CikNi said...

auntyN, kalau ber-'boyfriend' tu biasalah kan, kata orang 'berkawan biar seribu, berkahwin biar satu'

kalau nak 'steady' aka bercinta tu lepas uni sesuei le sikit, kang kalu dah 'chup' masa kat uni, bila dah kerja- rupa-rupanya ramai pulak pakwe hensem kat sektor korporat tu - kang nyesal lak...

atasya said...

2 thumbs up for AuntyN...camnilah bakal mak mertua...sporting tuh!!..yelah jodoh pertemuan di tangan tuhan...my friend eventually married at the age of 24 with her highschool sweetheart. They knew each other since 16.

yeah..mcm kata cikni...i guess berkawan ramai tu mmg tak salah..asalkan kita tahu batasan...Insya-Allah dlm ramai2 tu...mungkin dia akan terjumpa yg sesuai....and only Allah knows when...

wow..motherhood can really be tough huh?!

Mas said...

Auntyn ni sporting lah.
My mak pun sporting gak. Dia encouraged I bawak balik mana2 guys yg I kawan (tak ramai pun...4 orang jer)untuk berkenalan.
I tak sanggup sebab segan, lagipun diorang tak pernah cakap nak ikut I balik pun. Then when I finally decided to bring hubby home, mak berkenan habis coz my hubby jer the only one mintak jumpe family sebab nak serius ngan I.

norahelena said...

start deting umog 18 la..dok tunggu spm time tuh. Tapi bukan laa hubby skarang nih. Org lain. Tak kawin pon dgn dia..hahahahaha. Date kali pertama dan terakhir. Pas tu masuk ITM. Tak de boyfreind. Pasal tak lawa kot..hahaha..Bila dah keje, baru lah start dating dgn hubby. masa tu umur 24 tahon. Alhamdullilah..berakhir hingga ke jinjang pelamin.

AuntyN said...

Ely : Boleh sangat, ELy pun ada anak remaja kan?
It's a good point about the curfew tu. WIll keep that in mind Thanks

AJIN????? KAH....KAH...KAH (gelak guling2 mcm YM icon)
Selagi tak nikah selagi tu lah Kak Long available OK...

Lela : Tenah asked about the boyfriend, YOU asked about kawin MELAYU tu... 2 in one ni!.

Audra : Betul tu kalau yang popular mesti tak cukup 1 entry kan? Kalau tag Jin pasal dating mesti 3 hari tak habis cerita kan? :-), :-)

CikNi, nanti tunggu lelaki korperat, dpat yang keparat pulak hehehe, maklum lah yang korperat banyak dah ada bini dah (MAYBE still mengaku bujang) kan kan?

atasya : ibu zaman cyber lah katakan hehehe.
Motherhood is tough? You just have to learn along the way. Sure is tough butit is rewarding.

budak said...

Me...When asked who I speak to over telephone by my mom, I replied friends. All to often.

When one day my mom asked who I speak to over telephone to which I replied.....*** nak buat makwe/marka......she knows I serious.

Three years later I get mariied when I was in the final year of my study.

AuntyN said...

Mas : wah mak sporting tu. I agree with her choice, sebab kalau dia serius dia berani datang jumpa parents.

Nora : 18 thn, alamak ni susah ni sbb Kak Long pun 18 jugak ni hehehe. InsyaAllah jodoh tak kemana.

AuntyN said...

Budak : gentleman lah tu ekk? hehehe bertuah lah si*** tu kan? :-)

Faizah said...

hi auntyn, saya dah 23, tp until now takde bf .. ehehhe

tgazfa said...

Right after SPM I got a phone called. He was from the same class and was quiet in class buatkan saya terkujat that he called me. The calling2 situation berlanjutan sampai 2 yrs until we actually went for a date. And the dating plak berlanjutan sampai la we married.

So saya start date umoq 20, walaupun kenal dia when we were 16, it was 12 yrs back.

AuntyN said...

Faizah, jangan risau, kalau ada jodoh tak kemana, pasti akan ada yang berkenan. I have nieces who are 26, 27, 28 yang masih tak de bf jugak.

azfa, ramainya start dating at a young age. Alhamdulillah dah 12 tahun dah tu. InsyAllah berkekalan

born-again drama queen said...

my first date was when i was 22...kira late bloomer lah...pi delifrance sec 14 pj...

Anonymous said...

umur dah 28 but until now, i have never experience all this dating2 thingy...

shidah said...

berdating-dating umur 21, kawin pun 21, camana nak gi nasihat ni AN?

masa muda2 sikit, dari tu, adalah orang usha2, tapi kita ni blur :)

Anonymous said...

my first dating when i was 12..banyak sngt cinta monyet..but one thing la kalau bercinta jgn bagi 100% kepercayaan & cinta coz kalau break taklah frust sngt...itulah formula yg saya guna...selalunya lepas break i bagi my self nak bersedih paling lama pun 2 weeks...kalau nak cepat hilang sedih after break cari yg lain ...hahah yg ni jgn ikut sngt...masa muda2 dulu tak betul sikit...

AuntieYan. said...

N, kalau lah masa dan waktu boleh diputarkan semula, KY takmo lah jatuh-jatuh cinta ni....kalau boleh nak yang keluarga pilih, nak yang kita tak kenai...he..he....
Arghhhh....suratan hidup tak dapat nak kita lawan.Cinta sakan hanya sekerat jalan...nasib baik yang sekerat lagi tu Cik Din tolong sambungkan.

Pasal Kak Long pulak, rasanya jaman sekarang ni budak-budak pun dah pandai fikir sendiri.Kita ibu-bapak pun open minded, kita tak terus 'melompat' kalau tahu anak ada bf/gf..tak macam orang dolu kala....tahu nak marah je, soal belum siasat pun belum. Balik-balik "aku makan garam dulu..."...asyik makan gaaarammmm je depa tuh!!! tak boleh bawak berbincang.
Insyaallah kita bagi guide lah kat depa anak-anak nih...after all 'rasa cinta' tu happen to every one.Kan ke cinta itu indah!!!

AuntyN said...

nef : 22 is a late bloomer? still so young to me.

anon1 : I hope you will find your jodoh. But dating tak semestinya hanya sebelum kawin, lepas kawinn lagi elok berdating..

shidah : sekarang dah tak blur dah kan? Tak pe buat panduan untuk anak2 tu, hehehe

anon2 : awat la depa dok anon saja ni.
Cepat nya start dating tu... Good tips about not giving 100%.

Kak Yan : Betui tu, la ni kita nak jugak depa rasakan apa yang kita pernah lalui. Zaman remaja yang indah dan berpancaroba ni, cewah.. Kalau tak guide betul2 nanti terpesong.

Pnut said...

Kak-mak saya walaupun tak sekolah tinggi, suri rumah saja, duduk rumah jaga laki, dan anak-anak, bersembang pun cara orang kampung saja, tapi kak dia open, ngan kami

so during our school-school time lah kan...everything nak cerita kat mak...termasuk skodeng budak jantan hensem kat mana-mana...

and bawa a few kawan lelaki datang rumah, kawan jer, sebab ada mak bapak saya tgk, anak lelaki tak boleh bawak kwn pompuan bawa balik rumah, sama jugak anak pompuan tak boleh nak bawa kawan lelaki

kesian anak-anak depa, terhimpit, bagi saya elok kita kenal dengan siapa anak kita berkawan, koman-koman kita tau mana dia duduk, mak bapak dia nama sapa...tak boleh kolot sangat la kan? Nanti anak-anak buat belakang kita, dan kita tak tau..

MA said...

Kak N : me dating masa kat college dgn senior. Gi tgk wayang kat panggung Rex depan Kotaraya. Lepas grad, tak jadi apa-apa - masing-masing bawak diri.

After 15 years entah camner dia dapat contact I balik - but, I decided last minute tak nak jumpa dia. Yang dah lepas tu lepas lah. Besides, bukan apa feelings sangat pon :-)

Now, dah bertahun tak berdating. Dah lost touch. Setakat jumpa geng minum-minum kat kedai Mamak bukan my idea of a date.

:-)

AuntyN said...

Pnut : Betui lah tu, biaq kita tau dengan sapa anak kita berkawan kan. SO far we all tak lah sekat pergaulan diorang ni sangat.

MA : Nostalgia kat panggung Rex, amboi, hehehe.

Kak Lady said...

autyn..kak lady pun ade anak perempuan..sorang je..dah kat kolej jugak..tapi belum ade boyfren..dia selalu cakap..nanti kalau dia tak jumpa boyfren..mintak mak ayah carikan...sebab dia kata mak & ayah tentu carikan yang terbaik untuk dia. Tapi dari masa ke semasa dia akan cerita ngan saper dia berkawan..dia dgn kak lady memang banyak berterus terang..

ibuVouge said...

aunty
kalau parent open minded ..anak anak x segan( malu) nak cite bab2 ni..
Sbb mak saya pun cam mak kak pnut... tapi kami adik beradik(pompuan 5 org) bleh siap ckp
'mak tolong cabut undi sat, tatau la yang mana satu nak pilih'heheheh
mak reply
'suruh depa mai umah..mak nak analisis'
kalau luluih ujian mak ok,

AuntyN said...

kak lady : your girl is a good girl, Alhamdullillah

ibuVogue, caya lah dengan mak u ni. Tak luluih tak boleh masuk meminang no, baguih, baguih. hehehe
I dah upload resipi tu dah , terimakasih ya.

nohachomel said...

auntyn,

kiranya kak long dah beso untuk auntyn risau ada boipren ke tak. saya nih, Nurin baru 2 tahun, cam takleh terima satu hari nanti kalau dia ada boipren camne..huhuhuu...

RojakBuah said...

salam AN...nak panggil mak ler boleh?? heheee....ke mama ni?? heee

AuntyN said...

Noha : the time will come when we have to worry about that, and let go.

JB : adoi, nak buat kak long isteri no 2 ke? hehehe, kang ada yang nak pelangkung tu *hint pi baca komen AJIN tu hehehehe*...

Akuro ® said...

Yg psl Streamyx tu, Akuro pun prob gak AN. Akuro dah tak tentu arah dah. Start hari Selasa if tak salah, Rabu tu Akuro decide nk merempat kat rmh kawan sampai Ahad, bila balik Streamyx dah OK. Rasanya mmg Streamyx kut yg problem...

AuntyN said...

Akuro : I belum pergicheck lagi samada modem atau network card yg problem.

RojakBuah said...

AN..ooo...dah ada org book..mana orang tau Mama....AJ panggil ibu, saya nk panggil Mama je...kapal terbang pun boleh kena hijak Ma.....boleh kan...Mama..heheee..AJ..jgn marah ekk..

AdieJin said...

Wei RojakBuah, camnilah, kau gi amik hati Kak Lady, dia pun ada anak dara. Kau nak panggil mama ker, mami ker, nenek ker , bonda ker..semua boleh..auntyN aku sorang jer kat sini boleh panggil Ibu..

anggerik merah said...

Hahaha...gelak besar ala Jin (AJ boleh ya tiru Jin gelak...)..bila RB & AJ berebut mak pulak kat sini!!!!

AdieJin said...

RB...tak pun hang tunggu angah..along aku punya dah.esok nak hantaq laksa satu dulang sebagai tanda...

AuntyN said...

Amboi, amboi syok no depa dok chup chup anak2 dara kita....

Depa kecik kanyiaq lagi lah, nak study dulu tu, kut tak larat nak tunggu kut.

Jin, laksa tu hantaq mai jugak no, hehehehe.

JoKontan said...

RojakBuah & Jin,

Hangpa ssemua pi main jauh jauh..

Ni uncle Jo nak mai hantaq chocolate satu Kancil..




Aunty, melawak no.

AuntyN said...

MasyaAllah, apa hal lah pulak ni.... Pakcik2 yang bagai nak rak dok nak tackle anak dara aku.

Tak kan sampai sampai camtu kut....sedih....sedih....

RojakBuah said...

OK ler AJ...buat apa gaduh2...biar along yang decide..kan Ma..kan??

AuntyN said...

Isyyy, tak kuasa dah lah aku ni dengan korang ni......

Sorang Ibu,......sorang mama.....

Hehehe..

Lana said...

hi aunty n, lama tak tinggai comment tapi tak pernah tinggai baca your blog. cerita dating2 ni mcm interesting je. nak share jugak my story walaupun tak tergolong dlm golongan single-mingle..

i sort of befriended my hubby then only a friend kat stadium larkin. time tu form 4. sekolah kita mana leh gi dating2 ni semua (dululah). we both went separate ways after a while. I start date officially after 18 yrs old with parent's consent, respecting their policy that they must know all my friends.. after dah dating quite a handful (lebih kot) barulah terjumpa balik my hubby ni tapi tak gak dating sakan2 even bila dah jadi special. adalah dating lebih kurang 6 times in 3 years (due to the distance) and by then dah bertunang pun. yg best tu bila kahwin mcm baru bercinta

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